Matthew 9:32-33

 ³²While they were going out, a man who was demon-possessed and could not talk was brought to Jesus. ³³And when the demon was driven out, the man who had been mute spoke. ..."

He keeps talking about evil demons possessing people [why aren't there any good demons?], and this one stuck out because they made the guys dumb. I was all "whoa, waitaminnit" I've had professors that were dumb [not that way: these guys were hotshot PhDs, they just didn't talk--our classes were in sign language.]

There's a lot of reasons somebody couldn't talk, but trust me, demons ain't one of them. People say this Jesus dude is God, so he oughta know that.
OOOh, what's that sound? It's a lot of christstains saying these oldtime assmen** didn't know about germs and diseases so this is the only way that would make sense to them.

**cattlemen, horsemen ... these guys raise donkeys. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Ok, I'll cut him some slack there, it can't be easy being a Messiah, just ask Obama. Trouble is, he doesn't say how exactly to cast out demons. I'm supposed to believe he was God, but he was too dumb to foresee what would happen? There's no shortage of fanatics to come fill in the details, and then we get shit like:

 Africa's witch children

[the link doesn't work. It's been removed, but you can google it and find all sorts of stomach-churning crap.]

The image burned into my brains is a beautiful little girl, looks about eleven, who can't talk, just sits there drooling on herself while the other kids go to classes, because her fucking PARENTS drove a railroad spike INTO HER SKULL to chase out demons.

All because of, besides the Bible, a shitstain called Helen Ukpabio, who,  I , she, i don't,,,, she was in Houston Texas! fucking  PREACHING!!!
Oh god, I went looking for the videos and found OMFG this, a video made by the shitstain itself.  You'd  laugh hysterically at this and munch popcorn if you didn't know there are people who actually take it serious. I'm just fucking speechless...