a Crime Against Nature

One of these things is a crime against nature. Can you guess which one?

Of course you can. All over the world, from Malawi to North Carolina, all good moral upright people know that those two perverted babes up there are taking a far bigger crap in Mother Nature's face than any of that other stuff. 

Those slackers in Malawi dropped the ball by dropping the 14 year prison sentence against two guys who "went against the order of nature" by having an engagement party.  Lucky for Ma Nature, she still has defenders here in North Carolina. The cops there don't get distracted by trivial things like assault,  they know "the best thing to do" is to arrest the victim along with the attacker because of this law (I'm not making this up):

Offenses against Public Morality and Decency.
§ 14-177.  Crime against nature.
If any person shall commit the crime against nature, with mankind or beast, he shall be punished as a Class I felon. 

Hmmm, I wonder, would it be safe for BP to drill in Carolina?

P.S. the way they define it, for the "crime", a penis or tongue has to enter a vagina or anus. So that still leaves you a lot of options.  Homophobes aren't very imaginative, mmm?

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