12/27/12

Lawn Care


Reading about grass (no, not that kind) I stumbled over this and  I LOL'd
snip------

2) Healthy soil is loaded with heaps of microbial and macrobial life. Most of these critters are working hard for your grass. Most of those critters don't like salt.

    lawn care wormLet's take a quick look at an earthworm. I'm going to call him ... Fernando.

    Fernando tunnels through the soil, eating as he goes. He gets to the surface and poops out a lot of dirt and digested organic matter. His travels make it so the grass roots get air and water. He eats organic matter like dead leaves and dead blades of grass. He converts them to materials the plants can take up as nutrients.

    In an organic yard, Fernando takes a decaying blade of grass down in his burrow and munches on it "These things are my favorite!" says Fernando. "I need some more!" Back at the surface, Fernando finds some home made compost "What is this? Oh my! This is my new favorite! (munch munch) It's so good! (munch munch) How can this be crunchy and chewy AT THE SAME TIME! Oof, I'm so full. I wanna have sex and have lots of babies so they can enjoy the crunchy chewy stuff."

    In a yard that uses chemical fertilizers, Fernando says "AAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!! THE PAIN! THE HORRIBLE, HIDEOUS PAIN! I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM IT, BUT IT IS EVERYWHERE! ACK! ACK! HEEEEEELP MEEEEEEE! URK!"

    (this dramatization brought to you by ... compost! It's yummy!)

So I'm making a strong recommendation to not use chemical fertilizers. For lawn care or for anything.

-------end snip[from here]

Pretty good advice.

Cooler than, well, Piss.



This is really really cool, and these three girls are awesome.  First off they're from Nigeria, land of the desperate and home of the crazy, so props just for staying normal. Second they're High Schoolers--one's s only 14--and third it's thinking like this that could save our stupid species.

Nature (a.k.a. the gods) abhor waste. Modern humans thrive on it. To bring ourselves in line with the gods' demands offers our one (slim) chance to survive. Power generated from our own waste products = WIN!
Lotta commenters sour grape that these kids' science project can't solve the World's Energy Crisis®. Them I ask "and in High School YOU perfected what  besides ways to masturbate?"  
This is way better than it seems. 




12/24/12

Oh shit, Christmas! I almost forget.


It's time to repost this one.


       The Bible before Solstice


'Twas around winter solstice, alone in the house


I was reading the Bible, as quiet as a mouse.


The stories were thrown in the book without care;


contradictions abounded, mistakes everywhere.


I could not understand, or believe what it said,


its tall tales of people come back from the dead;


original sin, which was such a bum rap,


blood sacrifice, curses, and other such crap.


When deep down inside I knew something's the matter


I sprang to the web to make sense of such chatter.


Away to the Google I flew like a flash,


to try and make out heads or tails of this trash.


The search engine gave me back millions of hits;


molesters, and con men, and other such shits.


When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,


but hundreds of gods from the earliest year.


With a little old edit, the story of Horus


I knew in a moment it must be the sou-rce.


More numerous than seagulls, gods and goddesses came,


and I whistled, and marveled, and called out their name;


Osiris! Adonis! Dionysus! Mithra!


There's Attis and Ishtar! And Baldr and Krishna!


To the land of the dead! Down to hell they all went,


to the underworld, after their lives were all spent.


Like fertility symbols these gods they all die,


and then get resurrected, back up in the sky.


So back up to heaven these deities flew,


to start new religions, and Jesus did too.


Right there in the gospels, just like you would guess,


a brand new Messiah turned up in this mess.


As I willingly tried to suspend disbelief


from the pages this Jesus guy came like a thief.


He was beat all to shit, from his head to his foot,


and put onto a cross just like Horus was put;


His birth in a manger, and marked by a star,


that's a detail he stole from the Goddess Ishtar.


His magic trick changing his water to wine,


was a ripoff of Bacchus who used to brew 'shine.


He claims to have brought people back from the dead,


that's just like the other gods—what they all said.


And in some of his stories he acts like a cad:


“Hate your mother and father! Don't bury your dad!”


Sends his guys to steal donkeys, and kills farmer's pigs,


and cusses a tree out for not giving figs.


He's a crazy old preacher, who just seems kind of silly


though I had to admit that his book was a dilly,


that tried hard to steal those old stories by stealth,


and I laughed when I read it, in spite of myself.


A shift of my eyes and a twist of my head,


to the headlines, told me I had nothing to dread:


all the Pope's rules have been shown not to work,


evangelicals picket, and act like a jerk;


they cry “war on Christmas” and make silly fusses,


when we put up billboards, or signs on our buses.


But to all the fanatics I give this epistle,


away from your church people fly like a missile,


and I have to exclaim, on this solsticey night,


that millions of us, without gods, are alright.






Happy holidays, everybody!


12/23/12

Irony, cubed



So I saw these two headlines right next to each other



and I LOL'd.  Duhhhh, yeah.   So then I read the certified idiot's post and he's all about how it ain't guns, it's mental illness. It's laying on the irony pretty thick for a politician from Scarolina, taking Jim Demental's place no less, to talk about mental illness, but he missed the whole point, no surprise.

We gots a president who maintains a kill list. The mafia does that. Serial killers do that. not the president of your country, unless you live in a  third world shithole, mmm ...  never mind.  So here's the entire government wanting to detain people without trial, hold them indefinitely, and TORTURE THEM, and a dickhead talking about "moral decay" is referring to something else? 

I give up.


12/21/12

12/19/12

12/17/12

Stupid Question of the Day


Q:

A: 1934 

Geez. they don't know how the human reproductive system works, and they want to pass laws about it; they don't know how guns work, and they want to pass laws ...

Here's a better question: What can a semi-automatic rifle, like the one used in Sandy Hook,  do?

A:

12/15/12

A National Tragedy



The nation is in mourning: flags at half mast, the President on TV, crying, news filled with speculation on what unfathomable evil that could drive a person to commit such acts ...



link 1         link 2

  Is a child's life worth less when they are born in Connecticutt or Waziristan?

12/12/12

Ban Life Jackets




Guide to the Republican Health Care Plan


Confused by all the details of the health care debate?  Wondering what you will do if the Republicans succeed in cutting Medicare and Social Security when you can't afford insurance?  Don't worry, they have a Plan!  Should you become sick or disabled, simply follow this easy step-by-step guide.




12/11/12

Yikes, they're here!



Saw one of these on the car in front of me today. Aside from those weird vertical initials and the  three torture devices on the left, what's up with URLs on license plates?  How soon before they start selling ad space and we have



oh shit, never mind.


Cause and Effect


Watching the Hatfields and McCoys Israelis and Palestinians go at it again, I noticed this slight discrepancy in the Israeli response.


Cause
 Effect
3 Israeli citizens killed,
 63 injured,

This

24 Israeli citizens killed,
 200,000 injured


This

Can't say I'm the least bit surprised. 



12/10/12

Screw You Tube


Let's watch a video.


(click)


How do I close this damn thing? I'll press  "preview", since IT'S THE ONLY CHOICE I'VE GOT!




I don't need to see a video anyway. 

11/28/12

Thought for the Day


How come the Republicans, the "Party of Personal Responsibility" champion a form of business that was created  for the express purpose of avoiding personal responsibility? 

( Inspired by this news item where not paying your bills is "just standard stuff".)

IF CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE, CAN WE FUCK THEM?



11/27/12

How to deal with terrorists


Since it's mostly christians who get wood from fighting The War On Terror why not look at the Bible for advice on how to treat suspected terrorists?

What we need to do, sez god, after we catch them, is to cut up their clothes, give them a shave and let them go.

 Laugh all you want, this has to be right, it's in the Book.

3 ... hath not David rather sent his servants unto thee, to search the city, and to spy it out, and to overthrow it?
4 Wherefore Hanun took David's servants, and shaved off the one half of their beards, and cut off their garments in the middle, even to their buttocks, and sent them away. (2 Samuel 10)
hat tip to Baal's Bum

11/26/12

Look, a Journalist!


Abby Martin on RT



Link to follow-up interview with Israeli spokesman and psychopath Alex Selzy, who babbles incoherently that

"We start wars to maintain peace and quiet"
"We didn't bomb the building, we only bombed the antenna on the roof of the building"
 "We don't blockade Gaza"

Wow. 

11/24/12

11/23/12

Atheists, Death, and Priorities


Singer Fiona Apple is on a worldwide tour. Well, not now she isn't, because why? Because her dog is dying. Now some of you are saying So what? That's no reason bla bla  but you are dicks. The rest of you should read this totes heartwarming (unless you're a dick) letter explaining why she is cutting off her tour. This part stands out

she is coming close to the time where she will stop being a dog, and start instead to be part of everything. She'll be in the wind, and in the soil, and the snow, and in me, wherever I go.
That's beautiful. It's how I've always dealt with my baby son's being dead, but not gone--never gone. The fantasy that I will see him as a little boy again can be hugely seductive, and people wonder how atheists can get along without it. This is how. It's comforting, and it's real.  He's with me always, and soon I'll be in the wind, the trees, and the stars along with him. And Janet and Fiona.

11/22/12

Thanksgiving Unprayer


On this day,
when Earth tilts away from the Sun
and the world lies dormant,
it's fitting to pause for a moment
and express appreciation for all that we have.

To express awe and reverence for the
nuclear furnace that formed this planet from interstellar dust,
the natural processes that organized its elements
into the carbon we are made of, and water,
that enables life to exist, to reproduce itself,
to be mobile, and conscious,
so we are able to appreciate our good fortune.

To thank our predecessors who
developed eyes to see the sunrise,
ears to hear music,
brains to understand
and a society to share all this.

Thank our fellow beings,
who share this earth
and who produce the oxygen we breathe,
the food we eat, the medicines we need,
and provide us with companionship.

Thank our ancestors who
freed us from superstition,
learned about the world
and passed on their knowledge
so that we enjoy the luxuries of our modern lives.

On a personal level, we thank
our parents for bringing us into this world,
and those who are here to share this day with us,
and not least, our fellow creatures,
who give up their lives
so that we might continue on
in this great cycle we celebrate.


11/20/12

Meet Ralph


It feels like I'm in a movie. I've moved into a new place, and sort of like the Pilgrims, there are indigenous inhabitants everywhere. These little guys used to really creep me out but I've been in the South so long I don't mind their company:  

"Hi Ralph, whatcha doin?" 
...just walkin up this wall here."

"Wanna go outside?"

  "I'm lookin for noms. Leave me alone"

"Here, lemme help ya out"

"AAAGGGHH. A giant hand coming at me!"

"Damn, yer fast! How can you squeeze into such little cracks?"

"!!!!!"

"Oh well. G'night, Ralph."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

They're cute little guys in an ugly sort of way, and harmless. They can't help how they were born.

11/18/12

Batting 1000


Blogger says I've made a thousand posts! Do I know how to waste time, or what? 


11/16/12

We're at War


"the whole business model for the fossil fuel industry is based on burning five times more carbon than is compatible with a livable planet"
"So what we're saying is, "Your business model is at war with life on this planet. It's at war with us."


11/2/12

Why I've never liked Mitt Romney


When you see someone or something that is small, weak, clearly out of its element and helpless, then what? My impulse is to try and help. Not this guy.

He's in the middle of a Very Important Speech, trying to impress the world that he's a Very Important Professional, but all that goes out the window when he sees a bug on the floor. You might think that little guy was insignificant to interrupt a major policy discussion over, but not Willard

 "Wait! Here's a chance for me to kill something!" 

 then he runs what?, four steps, clear across the stage, to go and stomp on it.

 Watch the video [can't embed it, sorry] and ask, was that really necessary or appropriate? and why did he feel the need to do it at all? Yeah, it's "just a bug", but remember ‘whatsoever you do unto the least of these, you do unto me.’



10/30/12

Thoughts on the Election


Voters say the biggest problem with the country is the economy. I think it's a bigger deal that “my country” is murdering people. The President is doing a pretty good job, considering, but only if we ignore the facts of his own personal hit list. What am I supposed to think, “He's a swell guy aside from all those murders”? So was Ted Bundy.

So who do I vote for, the serial killer or the psychopath? 

The important issue to me is that I'm not a party to killing innocent children. I'm against killing four-year-olds here, there or anywhere, and I don't think 16-year-olds should be blown to bits no matter who their father is.

If Obama wins, we know for a fact that the killings will go on. Most likely the economy will improve and make it even easier to continue expanding the no-fly hit list.

Unfortunately the other guy was born with a silver spoon up his ass and real life isn't even his friend on Facebook. If he wins the country will likely go straight down the toilet, but it will take all those assassination programs with it. You don't see any drones from Burundi do you?

If I vote Obama, I'm voting to murder children while my economy prospers. If I vote Rmoney I'm choosing to destroy my country but save the lives of innocents. Unless I think American lives are worth more than others, it looks like
I'm morally obligated to vote Romney.