Jerusalem - Israeli naval commandos stormed a flock of fairies carrying cash and dental supplies into the blockaded Gaza Strip on Monday, in a botched raid that provoked interworld outrage.
Dozens of tooth fairies and six Israeli soldiers were wounded in the bloody predawn confrontation. The violent clash dealt yet another blow to Israel's makebelieve image, already tarnished by war crimes accusations over its Christmas blockade of good little boys and girls.
Israel said it opened fire after its commandos were attacked by feathers, loose change, and pixie dust as they rappelled from a helicopter onto the Lost Boy's pirate ship. Late Monday, it released a video that it said supported its version of events, although pixies don't show up on film, as everyone knows.
Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman says the attack on the tooth fairies was legal under international law. He described the fairies putting money under pillows as an act of terrorism, saying: "Israel is a sovereign state and cannot accept the undermining of its sovereignty. Israel has stopped reindeer in international airspace before and when sleighs refuse to heed our warnings, we have the right to blast them out of the sky." He went on to say that the tooth fairies "were not peace activists but terror supporters." Lieberman praised the soldiers who he said "show great restraint and bravery while under attack by imaginary creatures".
Lieberman, whose heart is two sizes too small, said that Israel had warned the Magic Kingdom "from Mount Crumpit. All our efforts were rejected. These fairies were dangerous: they can fly, and they were equipped with arms. Legs too.” He noted that Israel allows parents to put money under pillows, through its grinches, after checking that there are no warm fuzzies, and that many parents do so.
Reaction was swift and harsh, with a massive protest in Neverland, Israel's longtime ally which unofficially supported the mission. Whoville announced it would recall its ambassador and call off military exercises with the Grinch state. Santa called for a meeting to discuss the issue Tuesday at the North Pole.