Matthew 4

Transitions are your friends. This Matthew guy, if that's who's writing this book, needs to meet some. Here's what happens after the baptism:

Jesus follows the Spirit out in the boondocks. 
He follows Satan around, tells him to piss off. 
 He hears John is in prison.
He goes to Galilee. 
He starts preaching.
He rounds up a bunch of followers.
Pretty disjointed, yeah. 

This Jesus guy has magical mind control powers (along with the GPS star and heaven opening up for commercial breaks). He goes up to a bunch of fishermen who're busy working, and says "Follow me". They don't say "Fuck off asshole, we're busy" they just walk off the job and go with him.  Whoa.
Scarlett Johansson might be able to pull that off, but, ... oh ho, maybe it's not magical mind control, maybe, he's ... ohhh, I'm not going there.

Anyway, he's some kind of doctor too, cause he goes all over healing people, and pretty soon people come from miles around to hear him play to see him cure epilepsy and paralysis and demon-possession. Wait, What, demons?  Oh right, fantasy story, ok.

No comments: