A bigger dick than M&M

Warning: Luke 9:59-62 ahead.

When you finish reading a really crappy book, then what? Do you pick it up and read it again three more times? Fuck no, you throw the damn thing away, right? Well, I'm in the Book(sic) of Luke, so this makes the third time wading thru the story(sic) of Jesus, and it's really hard to keep picking this literary shitcastle up, but I keep doing it, because I'm demented determined to improve myself. Although, ... 155 pages in, still as puerile and foul mouthed as ever.

It's soporific and narcoleptic and too garbled to be worth hunting up the corresponding parts in the Books of M&M, but occasional big floaters clog my filter, like in 9:59, here's Jesus being an asshole again. Jesus, Jesus, does your dad know you're doing this shit? Just wait and see, you're gonna be sorry .

In 9:59 he tells some guy to come with, when the guy's dad just died. He wants to hang around and have a funeral first, imagine that. Does Jesus have as much sympathy as a stray dog? Hell no, “Let the dead bury the dead”, sez he. What a prick.

Funny how that Jesus quote doesn't get air time, but I knew about it from M&M, even mentioned it in my poem “The Bible before Solstice” (which, BTW, totally rocks, as if some ancient Sumerian goddess was whispering it in my ear. No wait, that's me, LOL!). But it gets worse! In Luke 9:61 some other guy wants to say goodbye to his family and Jesus tells him to suck it:

Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62)

Holy crap! Not only don't bury your parents, also abandon your family without so much as a goodbye. This guy's greatest role model in history? Let's agree to disagree. Better yet, let's agree he blows goats and go find somebody better. Like Calvin.