Ever wonder why the Mormons set up where they did?   There's a story about that, and I can tell you it, cuz I used to live there, and hang out at this place.

It's on the hill overlooking Salt Lake City, this is the “This is the Place Monument”. This is the spot (and the third 'this is the') where the pioneers first came down into the Valley. See those mountains in the background? They're a lot bigger than they look, and steeper, and weren't pioneer-friendly. The mormons had to unhitch their wagons and skid them up and down on ropes, it was awful. So when they finally reached this place, they were right knackered, and whupped up a Mormon Tale (like a Fairy Tale but nuttier).
"Brigham Young was very sick with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and was riding in the back of a wagon. After exiting Emigration Canyon and cresting a small hill, he asked to look out of the wagon. Those with him opened the canvas cover and propped him up so he could see the empty desert valley below. He then proclaimed, "It is enough. This is the right place. Drive on." The words, "this is the place," were soon heard throughout the wagon train as the Mormon pioneers descended into the valley, their long journey having come to an end."
Ain't that sweet?  The 'place' was the Salt Lake Valley, which is kind of an odd place to settle. The name should tip you off; what he was looking at was the Great Salt Lake and the Bonneville Salt Flats.  It isn't the best farmland, so you have to wonder what the Mormon Moses was seeing there.

 Well, here's the REST OF THE STORY

He was too sick to even sit up by himself, remember, and the reason he was bedridden was he had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.  What they don't tell you is

It's just always struck me as funny.

The old perv seeing visions of himself as King of his own country, in the Promised Land of Milk and Honey, with millions of dollars, lots of  black slaves, married to dozens of underage girls, the works.  
Then the fever breaks, and?

 fucking salt flats.

No comments: