Buddhist Fatwa

(original pic from TANJ)

The last one doesn't sound quite right, but I'm getting my Buddhism from certifiable lunatic Chime Tenzing, raving in the Berkeley Daily Planet.

Half his rant is threatening violence, hidden under a burqa of course. He sidesteps the Buddhism is “grounded in” nonviolence, by following it up with the inevitable “BUT”. But what?---It will provoke him, and stir his sentiments, that's what.  Like these cases he devotes half his rant to admiring in loving detail.

(1) He “forewarns” Keds that it “will face similar consequences” as the Danish cartoonists who paid “a heavy price”. Not because of any murderers though, because they overlooked that murderers might murder them.

(2) Hindus forced an artist to flee the country “for fear of his life”, a consequence of the artist's “myopic vision”, not the Hindus who attacked him.

(3) Scraping the bottom to get Christains on board, he gives us a lawsuit, and upskirts his fatwa envy: they wouldn't do Mohammed that way, they wouldn't dare!

Those freaks who killed people over cartoons just made the cartoons famous and fools of themselves, but some people are just too dumb to see this. They think they're role models.

It's all cuz these shoes are “a gross denigration of” Buddhism. It's terrrrrible when advertisers denigrate something by splashing it all over everywhere, and making it a household word. Like how they've denigrated Coca-Cola for decades now, and made the company go broke, and you can hardly even find anyone who drinks Coke. 

Buddhism's Tenzing's ideals are important, y'see, and Keds has overlooked that importance, and that's “nauseating”. They've “committed an unpardonable sin” and “invited the wrath of the irate deities” with their “unholy feet”.  Wtf? it's bad enough religion freaks tell us our sex organs are unholy, now we're supposed to be ashamed of our feet?  And "irate deities", lol! 

If you can stop laughing long enough you can see his real beef: his feelings are hurt. Keds’ attitude “has hurt the sentiments of millions of Buddhists” he frothes, and he beseeches Keds “not to hurt the sentiments”, whose bones are easily broken.  By “millions of Buddhists”, he means him, and his suffering. That noise in the background is Buddha, laughing his ass off.

In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we rounded up some sentiments to test this. Filled a whole corral with them. We tried everything: shot them, blew them up, beheaded them, hung them, we even insulted them, and y'know what? You can't hurt them. They're emotions, they don't give a shit. Outrage is an emotion too, and you can't sentiment an outrage either. We tested.

The sentiments weren't outraged, and the outrages weren't sentimented. The people who held the sentiments, they just let go, sat back and watched.  Like Buddha would do.

Nobody else making threats AFAIK, but he's not the only one who didn't like the shoes. A lot of Buddhists complained, and Keds cancelled the products.  Didn't have to kill anybody.