Look up at the top, there's a new tab, with the whole story of this RPT project, with links and stuff. Also an email address in case you don't wanna put things in comments.
Thanks to everyone for their great feedback.
Here is the revised list, as it looks now.
I. Know what rape is. Understand that any sex act, with someone who does not want it, is Rape; and that even though sex may be one motivation, the act itself is an abuse of power.
II. Treat rape with the seriousness it deserves. Learn who rapes, how, and why, and the damage they cause: not in the locker room but from professionals and survivors.
III. Don't think you are entitled to sex because you're horny, or you spent money, or this person dated you, or married you, or had sex with you before, or any other reason.
IV. Stop when you're asked to, either verbally or physically, even if it's in the middle of the hottest sex you've ever had.
V. Toughen up. Be man enough to take disappointment, frustration, and rejection without taking it out on others. Step up and work to change your gender's behavior so that rapes will not happen, instead of depending on women to do it for you.
VI. Walk the Walk. DO SOMETHING about it when you know someone is a rapist or a danger. Turn them in, warn any women who may be endangered, or do whatever you can to stop that person. DO NOT tolerate, excuse, or ignore.
VII. Speak up. Defend a woman's unconditional right to choose when and where to have sex, and who with, and insist your friends recognize that right. Don't laugh at rape jokes or catcalls, object to them.
IX. If you have raped anyone, get help, figure out what is wrong with you, and fix it. Make reparations if possible.
X. Send this to every man you know, and when you get chain letters telling women what to do to avoid men who rape them, substitute this list.
It's not perfect yet, so don't be bashful to criticize it. Some reservations I have are
The roman numerals just keep the old list separate from the revision, which is an attempt to moosh all 39 of them into a dozen or so. Only way I could see to do that was to make each tip longer than I'd like it to be.
V. is clunky, and I'm not happy with that be responsible for 'other mens behavior' bit. It's an attempt to include these ideas:
16 Accept responsibility for your own gender. Stop expecting and advising women to prevent rapes.
27. Face the fact that sometimes women will not like you, will think you are stupid, will make fun of you, will not treat you well, will fire you from a job, will laugh at you, will refuse your advances. Just like men will.
IX. Not sure about this one. Seda suggests adding "Then find the woman or women you raped, and, in the presence of her family and a mediator skilled in restorative justice, apologize and offer reparation." Good advice; should it be on this list?
V and VI, the tone is sorta pugnacious. Bad? Counterproductive?