Oh shit, here's a test finding that our idea of Jesus is just projection. What's that say about me, cuz I'm making him out to be a colossal asshole. Here in Matthew 21 he's stealing livestock (1-11), then he vandalizes a temple (12-17), then he curses a fig tree (18-22). The guy has a rap sheet a mile long.
Growing up, I knew about him wrecking the temple, but I never followed his example and trashed the Church, even if I did steal some of their wine. Jesus stole donkeys. If he'd been in the Old West he'd've been hung on an old oak tree instead of a crucifix. A couple of things bother me about this story. One, how the hell did he pull this off:
He didn't sit on just the donkey, or the colt, he sat on both of them. What the hell?
Second, donkeys don't have colts—a baby donkey is a foal. You'd think the people who wrote this book would know that, at least. Even the KJV says colt, I checked, so what the hell again?