Jesus, Asshole (Matt 21)

Oh shit, here's a test finding that our idea of Jesus is just projection. What's that say about me, cuz I'm making him out to be a colossal asshole. Here in Matthew 21 he's stealing livestock (1-11), then he vandalizes a temple (12-17), then he curses a fig tree (18-22). The guy has a rap sheet a mile long.

Growing up, I knew about him wrecking the temple, but I never followed his example and trashed the Church, even if I did steal some of their wine. Jesus stole donkeys. If he'd been in the Old West he'd've been hung on an old oak tree instead of a crucifix. A couple of things bother me about this story. One, how the hell did he pull this off:

7 They brought the donkey and the colt, placed their cloaks on them, and Jesus sat on them.

He didn't sit on just the donkey, or the colt, he sat on both of them. What the hell? 

 

Second, donkeys don't have colts—a baby donkey is a foal. You'd think the people who wrote this book would know that, at least. Even the KJV says colt, I checked, so what the hell again?

I'm not the only one who thinks Jesus was an asshole, it's a meme! See, look, 

there's even a slideshow, and it's funny as hell. Way better than the bible. 


Just for squees, here's a video of a foal.