Matthew 23-24

Most of Matthew 23-24 is Jesus talking smack about the Pharisees, ranting and raving about their hypocrisy. He's gone all apeshit like John the Baptist, just needs a big END IS NEAR' sign. It's all good till 23:34. when he starts saying some really weird crap. He's convinced himself he's god by now, and he's gonna send prophets, he's gonna raise from the dead.

Jesus fits the pattern. Jim Jones, Shoko Asahara, David Koresh, Mohammed, they all started out normal, got successful, got a big head, starting thinking they were god's mouthpiece, first thing you know somebody's getting killed. Hope I didn't give away the ending

Jesus seems to have a martyr complex and internalized all those old myths about gods doing the Zombie Dance after three days. He thinks he's Mithra or one of them so he'll be going zombie soon, and he's got all his d00ds going along with it. Pretty crazy shit, but typical of people who catch that prophet virus.

Matthew 25:14-30 tells the Parable of the Talents, where a guy gets reamed for not making a lot of money. Boy is this ever a wtf moment. It contradicts everything Jesus is supposed to be preaching, and even what he is preaching. Needles, camels, remember?

That little tremor is tectonic plates shifting from Christians mobbing up to explain how it means exactly the opposite of what it says, as usual, but there's not a shred of context to indicate it means anything but what it says. It's about money: making money = good, making more money = more good.

When Alan Greenspan talked about economics people didn't say it was symbolic, prime rate meant skirts, and he was talking about raising hemlines. Interest meant interest. Interest = good.

Only, through most of history Christians hated interest, until lately when they saw how profitable it was. It's why Jesus went postal on the money changers, supposedly. Muslims still go to hell for charging interest, and some Christian holdouts, the ones you see in the food lines. 

How do they explain this story in their Words of God Book inciting people to play the market? That'll be next.