Deism

In that post with the flow chart, the first couple questions aren't all that clear. Here is how it would go if the questions were put to some hypothetical people. 

 

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Atheist:

1. Does the universe exist? Yes. 

2. Does the universe have a creator? No.

3. Is the universe conscious? No!

4. Is the universe aware of us? No, you idiot.

5. Does the univ… STFU!

-----

Theist:

1. Does the universe exist? Yes. 

2. Does the universe have a creator? Yes, God.

(back to 1), Does God exist? Oh, definitely.

2. Does God have a creator? No, of course not.

3. Is God conscious? Yes, and he loves us each and every one, and ... …...zzzzzzzzZZZ

-----

Deist:

1. Does the universe exist? Yes. 

2. Does the universe have a creator? --sure, God created it.

1. Does God exist? Sure.

2. Does God have a creator?--no

3. Is God conscious?---No, he's drunk on his ass and passed out, which explains why so many things are all fucked up, and why he never shows his face lately. 

 

-----

Deism FTW!

Psst, hey buddy, wanna see Jesus?

Pole-vaulting to Conclusions

I'm reprinting this handy flow chart to use as a guide next time some nitwits come knocking on your door and say "How can you not believe the Bible? Doesn't this complex world around us prove God is real?"

Instead of strangling them for their shabby logic, you can play twenty questions. (well, 18 actually, but you can make up new ones.)

If they come up with good solid reasons for each one of these points, you better listen to them. Also email me ASAP, cuz I'll wanna know about it.  I can make it past room #3 by using my Super Simile Senses, but I always die by #12.

Torture Chamber Chit-chat (mat 27:44)

Matthew 27 is the crucifixion.

So we're running through this old tired story of somebody being horribly tortured, that christians find so inspiring, and part of it is that the bystanders are mocking the victim.
Even the other victims join in (27:44).

The other victims who are being horribly tortured themselves.

They're dying in one of the most painful ways possible, and they take time out from screaming in agony to make snide remarks about their fellow sufferers.

“You know, you sure look silly hanging up there on that cross like that”

“My bleeding is way grosser than yours, poser.”

“You ain't screaming right; and that tunic--just so last year”

“Dude, your junk is showing”

Sorry, I just can't see it.

the Dumbest Plea ever Pled (mat 26-7)

Torture was part of my childhood. I wasn't being tortured, I went to catholic school, plus I had to listen to all my mom's stories. The plots were pretty thin: somebody, who was a saint and all holy y'unnerstand, wouldn't give up their faith, and so [ horrible, graphic, midevil torture. blood. screaming. pain. death. ] The end.

The moral, I guess, was that oh fuck I still don't know. Picture it like this: Saint Sufferina says she's a christian so they beat the shit out of her, and then ask her if she's still one, and she says yes, (!!!) so they cut off her  toes and nose and tongue, and ask her again, and she still says yes, so they they tie horses to her arms and legs and pull her into four pieces, still yes, they burn her at the stake, (yes), then they gather up her ashes (still yes) and torture every single individual ash, and she still says yes. The moral I learned from all this was:

The Christain saints were incredibly dedicated to God

were incredibly fucking stupid.

These stories are bullshit.

With a little waterboarding any human being will ask for a consecrated host to sodomize Jesus with, so don't expect me to believe this all they had to do was stop being christains and the thumbscrews would come off. And anyway what kind of stories are these to be telling little kids?

“OK, little Johnny, Pooh Bear was locked into the Iron Maiden, and a fire ….. '

Naw, doesn't work. What if Dr. Suess was Catholic?

“I do not like your Spanish Pear.
I do not like it here or there,
I do not like it anywhere.”

Yeah, I knew what a Pear was, I could describe everything on this list. Dr. Spock would not approve.

My point? Oh, yeah. In Matthew I'm up to where Judas hangs hisself, Big J prays in the garden, gets busted, taken to the High Priests, and … here we go ...

he says he's the king of the Jews (26:63-64). Then he says it again to the governor (27:11).

This has got to be the dumbest plea ever pled in a courtroom. He's just as dumb as Saint Sufferina.

The rest is predictable: beatings, torture, blood, yada yada yada. The crown of thorns bit is a creative twist, but I'm jaded, I can't see this as worse than what lots of saints went through. Plus, there's that little devil on my shoulder saying none of this would've happened if the dumb shit had just entered a not guilty plea.

I'm willing to accept that there probably was a historical Jesus, he was some preacher, The Man fucked him up, and his cultists made him all famous. But he was God? Come on. He didn't even claim to be god like respectable cult leader always do just before they start porking the teens. He died for my sins? Now you're not even being coherent.

The moron pled guilty. He was dumb. And christians like to feel martyred. End of story.

Fun with Quote Mining

J. Matt Barber, of the Washington Times, who likes to quote mine the President, has a problem with Obama, gays, Lady Gaga. In his own words,

“... April 12 ..., President Obama revealed ... his fixed member ...within ...Lady Gaga …, but ... homosexual conduct within … two Democrats - Sens. Mark Pryor and Blanche Lincoln of Arkansas - ... has been ... the ... objective … .

Although ... strict ... homosexual behavior ... has been ... necessary to ... him, … Mr. Obama, as did Mr. Clinton before him, ... plans to compel … “gays" and lesbians to serve ... all top brass, in all branches of the armed services... .

Lady Gaga...'s foul-mouthed lips ...serve openly ... almost 10 percent of active-duty personnel ...: … Another 14 percent ...volunteer services … from … a backseat … .”

Gosh.

Biased Bible Bigots Badly Bash Basic Books

In a follow up, last Friday the Texas State Board of Education passed a resolution telling textbook publishers to fill their books with Christian propaganda.

They're upset because the history of the Mideast talks about Islam (!?). Wait till they sound out the words to the history of Asia; you know what it talks about? Buddhism, Taoism, they're TEACHING OUR CHILDREN TO BE ATHEISTS !!11!11!!!!!!Oh Nooooooes!

So far, they only have vapors about one kind of bias, "pro-Islamic, anti-Christian". Once this is settled they can go on to pro-christian, anti-Hindu, then pro-Hindu, anti-muslim, pro-muslim, anti-Hindu, pro-Jain, anti-Shinto, where was I?

Somebody suggested just not mentioning any of them, but they voted that down of course, since  not mentioning Christianity is an insult (unless it's about child abuse, or any of this).

They seem a little confused. One of them seems to think China is in the Middle East

"I believe Middle Easterners have bought the textbooks! They've bought everything else here!"

and she's biased, although not sure about what.

"I'm biased in favor of Christianity, I'm biased in favor of America!"

On the bright side, they won't be able to talk about the Bible anymore. Board rules are that members can't discuss books that are currently approved for Texas public schools, and, starting this year, Texas public schools are required to teach the Bible. Sooo, no more quoting scripture at us. Woot! 

Also, in an interview with CNN, the Secretary of Education says (paraphrased)

“Fuck 'em.”

One board member explained that

"Publishers are listening today, and they're very sensitive to it."

“It”, of course, being batshit.  From Texas.

Buffoons Bash Biased Books

Children are being taught to like Judaism and hate Christianity, according to some minor bureaucrats out in the sticks. 

Schoolboy fantasizes about a steaming hot blowjob from the girl in the next row over, while staring at a bible. 

 Members of Pissed Off Outraged Peckerwoods (POOP) have introduced a new resolution that argues that Bibles dedicate more time to teaching the Jewish faith, while offering less information about Christian history.

For example, they argue, only 180,552 Words in the New Testament are dedicated to "Christian beliefs, practices and holy writings," while 602,585 words in the Old Testament focus on Judaism, implying that Christianity is of lesser importance than Judaism.

"There's a problem and this resolution brings attention to it," POOPer Leroy McDon told Faxe News on Wednesday. 

 

The resolution, proposed by POOPer Randy Wives, who tried and failed to infiltrate the state board earlier this year, calls Christianity "one of the world's great religions," and requires the whole world to reject Bibles which "offend me." 

 

R. Wives argued last year that Bible Belt companies were attempting to influence public opinion in America by investing in publishing companies.

"If we can control or influence Bible study groups, we can start taking over the minds of the young people," he said.

Interfaith groups of religious leaders laughed at the resolution earlier this week and called for rejecting it.

"Realistic indoctrination takes a back seat to religious tolerance with these fanatics, and enrollment suffers a blow," said a Christian in a statement released by their group.

"Our children's Bibles must not treat all religions accurately and fairly," added some Jewish guy. 
 

In May, the state board of education adopted changes to textbooks that made them more like the Bible. These changes, driven by the board's conservative members, drew condemnation from intelligent people everywhere.

Faxe News Wire Services

Read Ignore the original article at http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/09/23/2010-09-23_texas_state_board_of_education_resolution_targets_lessons_it_claims_favor_islam_.html

Desecration

Disclaimer: this post was written about a week ago, I just had alife for a while and didn't post it. I did not steal the idea from PZ's blog. He stole it from me, with his evil atheist brain meld.

The way to get famous now is to desecrate something. This guy smoked scriptures (didn't say how it was; It's reputed to have mind altering properties.)
How about me?  I put a bible in the cat box. 

Maybe I should explain that.  All our junk mail goes in a paper shredder, and gets chopped up into little pieces. The little pieces go into the cat box, and the fur people have learned to shit on the junk mail.  

When it gets icky, I dump it into the compost, where it's an offering to the gods. They like it too.  For  the little Fun Guy, carbon is food and  and nitrogen is like vitamins.  Paper is mostly carbon and cat piss has a lot of nitrogen, plus there's other shit in there that they like.  This way everybody's happy. 

When we moved, we had a bunch of old bibles to get rid of, soooo..... The bible pages soaked up all the piss and shit and fed the compost gods.  You could say I took the Holy Book, ground it up, pissed on it, shit on it, threw it in the garbage, and buried it. 

Is that sacrilegious enough?  Do I get a fatwa?  TV show?  Personal message from the President?  

Wear It!

Earlier we saw these great posters to let the world know you are against gender violence. Instead of having a poster why not wear one?

This T-shirt is just one  offered by SAFER (Students Active For Ending Rape). Some of all these others are even better, depending on what angle you want.

I'll bet you wear a bunch of t-shirts that advertise stupid over-priced crap, how about giving free advertising to something worthwhile instead?

Something Good

There's pictures of me as a little blue-in-the-face kid struggling to hold up a fish I caught so my dad could snap a photo just before I collapsed on the ground with this thing that was as big as I was.  We caught fish like that all the time.  Nowadays, you'd get your name in the paper.   All over the world the fish are getting smaller, and rarer, and extincter, which of course means we're all going to die, but then SUPRISE this piece of good news pops up.

one Sockeye salmon

Back in the years B.W.M. (that's before white men)  whole civilizations lived on the salmon runs, and every year millions and millions of sockeye would come and fill the rivers up so you couldn't even see the water. It was party time! They spawned, and died, and then really stunk up the place, but no one minded.  Since the White Men 'discovered'  this, there's been less fish every year, and in 2009 only a measly million and a half sockeye showed up.  Hardly worth paddling out for.

Well, YEOW, this years has thirty times as many salmon, more than there's been in decades. No one knows why either.

Lotsa Sockeye salmon

We know more about the Moon than we do about what goes on in our own oceans , which is pretty silly since we can't eat moon rocks after all (Yeah BP, I'm looking at you).  Nobody can tell where all these fish came from.  Mother Nature wins again. Yay!

Clueless

Definition of CLUELESS

1.  completely or hopelessly bewildered, unaware, ignorant, or foolish 

 

2.  having or providing no clue

 

Examples of CLUELESS

 pedobear-panic-hits-tulsa-oklahoma

Support the troops, yo

Do I have to? All of them? Including these ones?

“Twelve American soldiers face charges over a secret "kill team" that allegedly blew up and shot Afghan civilians at random and collected their fingers as trophies.”

And these ones?

“The charges include the kicking to death of a man to death aboard an RAF helicopter, the fatal shooting of another by a Black Watch officer in a traffic incident and the pushing of a teenager into the Shat al-Arab River, which led to his drowning,”

These?

These?

These?

How about I don't support the troops? How about we support getting them all the fuck out of that Pickle Barrel?

source: http://www.nicholsoncartoons.com.au/

Just a Thought

The most secular, rational, environmentally conscious places  in the US are in the North East states and the Pacific NW: rainy, overcast, cloudy, dark places.  The Bible Belt has the sunniest weather of anywhere.  The craziest place of all, Florida, well, that's 'The Sunshine State', 'nuff said.

 Then think of all those loony Islamic theocracies, out there in the Sahara Desert, and you can only reach one conclusion: sunshine is bad for you. 

 Stay out of the sun, for god's sakes.

the Cock Crew (mat 26:31-75)

There's this line:

Matt 26:74 ...And immediately the cock crew. 

The Cock Crew what? What did the Cock Crew do? Or should I say, who? Thanks, King James Version, for giving me a mental image that will never go away. Come to find out there's even a movie, that I don't  recommend.  Google showed me some other things for this search term too, but I probably better not talk about them.

Why is Matthew talking about the Village People? Here's the story.

Jesus knows he's about to get busted, so he has his martyr complex in overdrive, and he uses the old saying "Strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered”. It's not rocket science to predict that's what's about to happen, and it does. The cultists are predictable with their dance routine, “All for one, one for all”, with a little “I will never leave you” but it all goes down according to the script. The Man shows up, the cultists go all covert, singing their next number “I don't even know the dude, man”.

Jesus said something about a rooster, so when Peter hears one he realizes he's been PWND bigtime, and he goes all sobby. It doesn't say if he's weepy for not keeping his promise, or not being able to protect his leader, or what, but any way you slice it, the whole situation has gone South, to Clusterfuck City, so he can haz a sad.

The question is, what's the point of this. The authors go to a lot of trouble to stick it in here, in two places where it breaks up the narrative as it if meant something, but what? As usual I googled it and found out that means anything from “submit to the lord” to “vote republican” depending on who you ask. Evidently this story really gets christians off, but just I don't see why it's even in here. Guess I'll just go to hell. Oh well.

Equality Day

EQUILUX!

It's Fall Equilux today. Equi---lux is the whole day, from Latin lux, 'light'. --nox is the exact time, and that was at 3 a.m. this morning, which is an awkward time to hold any celebrations. Mother Nature's like that, she scoffs at our puny man-made schedules. 

Also puny man-made churches, and religions and holidays. Like the Feast of the Tabernacle, which is also right now, a man-made date when people dress up in fancy clothes and sit in a man-made building, and read about their man-made god, in their man-made book, that says some obscure man-made tribe supposedly did something once.

Meanwhile, I'm honoring a real date, marked every year, eternally, by the movements of the home I live on, and sharing it with all the other creatures who live here and contribute to this worldwide household. Throughout the whole world right now we share this one day of equality—equal amounts of dark and light. We all kick back at this same time every circuit, to wait out the dark, cold times. It's a good time for sharing, to settle up accounts, to spread the bounty around after gathering in all the harvest of our year's labors.

Used to be, there'd be some kind of burning-of-the-chaff ceremony, but I already did that and I got busted. Since we just moved, I'm out of sync—today I honored Autumn by planting grass seeds! She won't mind. What do you do to celebrate Fall Equality Day?

Best Poster

This is about the best advert I've ever seen. There are a lot more like it at the Men Can Stop Rape website. Check them out. Support them. The world needs more of this.

Land of the Free

Here in the Former United States, now der Homeland, you**



can't build sand castles





can't blow bubbles




(I know this last one happened in our northern neighbor, but national boundaries don't mean much anymore.  This is worse than you think.)


and you


can't complain when the government tortures you, or
poisons your food.

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**Unless 'you' are a corporation. In that case you can now "... trade in or exploit slaves, employ mercenary armies to do dirty work for despots, perform genocides or operate torture prisons for a despot's political opponents, or engage in piracy – all without civil liability to victims."  

-------------

First thing tomorrow I'll be down at the courthouse to incorporate myself and embark on a life of crime. They leave me no choice.  

Cannibals (mat. 26:2-35)

This is getting just weird.

In Matthew 26:2, Jesus mentions, just by way of making conversation, “Y'know what, in two days they're gonna come and crucify me,” and nobody says anything. There's no “Haul ass, bro, you got two days still.” Nobody offers to help. Nobody offers to let Jesus ride their ass (out of town I mean. Get your mind out of the gutter) There's no “We got your back, boss.” Managers at burger king can count on more loyalty than that.

In 10-12, he says some woman is preparing him for burial, how morbid is that? and nobody bats an eye. He says “Y'know, Judas is gonna narc me out” (21-25) and all his homies jump up and give Judas a major beatdown. Ha ha, just kidding. They would if these stories made any sense, but what these super duper loyal royal followers really do is go on pigging out. “Oh, wow, our bud here is going to turn you over to The Man and they're gonna kill you? Huh. Any more gravy?” Wow, who ever had such dedicated fans?

Now that their credibility is dead, buried, dug back up and cremated, the authors start with the real weirdness. How would you react if the host at a dinner party handed you something and said “Here, eat this, it's my body.” (26:26). I don't know about you, but I'd be looking for doors and things that can be used as weapons. Then he's “Everybody drink this, it's my blood!” Like, ewww, and he goes on raving about the covenant and his father's kingdom in heaven and sanity has just left the party. I bet the last thing Jim Jones' followers heard was something like this. Count me out. But in this alternate universe, they all just sing hymns and go for a walk in the park (26:30).

WTF is this? Character development, people. Motivation. Basic human emotions, at least. Or consistency. Consistency is good. Here's Peter, “Even if I have to die with you, I'll never … ” (26:35) who the hell cares? You just ignored him a half dozen times telling you he was going to get killed and your reaction was “pass the spuds”. Now you expect us to believe you're all “To the death!” Shee-it. Alice in Wonderland doesn't make much sense either, but it's way better'n this. I always scoffed when people told me this book was Great Literature (all those begats? hey, c'mon), but damn, if I'd written essays like this I'd still be held back in Elementary.

“Eat my body and drink my blood” like hell. Freak.

Literary Appreciation Time

This song has been stuck in my head for days. Can't imagine why.

Schizophrenic Jesus (mat. 25: 29-46)

Still trying to read the new testament, and boy it takes some serious will power. Have I mentioned that this Jesus guy seems like a dick? Well, he seems kind of bipolar too. In the Parable of the Money he says

“Everyone who has will be given more, … whoever does not have even what he has will be taken from him.”(Matt 25:29)

Sounds like a far-right wing libertarian, give to the rich and wait for it to trickle down on the rest of us. That's not what Jesus is supposed to be all about. ?!?

But then right after that he goes all hippy. Verses 41-46 are all what he's famous for, feed the hungry and give clothes to the poor, or else you'll go to hell. Except,
 he just reamed us out for not investing our money with Goldman Sachs. Which is it? It's pretty hard to earn any interest on your money after you give it away to the poor. Maybe Jesus thinks the bankers are destitute and starving? 

What about all those christians yowling that you're saved by faith alone, and works don't matter? Christianity For Dummies (seemed appropriate) explains it pretty good but with too much blather. Here's the deal.

'Works' would be all that feeding and giving that Jesus said to do, or it could be all that investing and taking that Jesus said to do. Either way, those are works and there's a buncha places in the bible that say they don't matter for shit, like

"For it is by grace you have been saved through faith. It is not from yourself or anything you've done, but the gift of God." (Ephesians 2:8–9)*

and

"Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved." (Acts 16:31)

So there ya go. Whether it's Libertarian Jesus or Hippy Jesus, according to the Bible everything he says is bullshit, so go ahead, be an asshole, you'll still get to heaven, all you gotta do is believe in some guy that's a lying schizoid.

No wonder Christians are screwed up**. 

------------

*The koran says this too. One of the things that bugged me about it was every time you  turn around it tells you allah'll do whatever the fuck he wants, no matter what you do, so suck it up. 

**Change that 'Christains' to 'Abramists'.

Religious Education is an Oxymoron

Know anything about  madrassas?

All I knew was, Saudi Arabia spends billions of YOUR oil dollars to fund these things all over the world.

Best case scenario, they're so-called 'schools' where kids spend all day learning to recite the Koran in a language they don't understand, with no time left over for math, science, or anything useful, so they graduate butt-ignorant.

Worst case scenario, they're real schools, where kids spend all day being indoctrinated into hating everybody outside their twisted little sect, with time left over for brainwashing so they graduate into suicide bombers.

Turns out they're way worse than that.

Buy this Ice Cream

Ice Cream made by Antonio Federici is Immaculately Conceived, is what this ad says.  What I say is, if eating anything is a holy sacrament, ice cream would be it.  Body and blood of some old prophet, not so much.  But look what the Advertising Standards Authority of London says:
 

"...to use such an image in a lighthearted way to advertise ice cream was likely to cause serious offence to readers, particularly those who practised the Roman Catholic faith."

Oh, Wahhh, NAMBLA East is offended. Anybody taking the piss out of the Raping Children Church is alrite, I say. This is the logical next ad in Federici's "Ice Cream is our Religion" campaign, following their ad last year, below.  But wait, it gets better.  The ASA says

"ASA rulings must be followed and we are taking steps to ensure Antonio Federici do so."

  but Federici says

"We intend to defy the ASA's ban and will publish another advert from the series before the Pope's visit later this week." "We are in the process of securing a series of billboards close to and along the planned route of the Pope's cavalcade around Westminster Cathedral."

Get yer popcorn, this is getting interesting.  Civil disobedience; Legal battles; A left jab to the King of The Vatican. Woot!

 

 The RCC says

Waaahhhh, people are picking on us 

Thousands of little kids say 

KARMA, Bitches. 

and I say eat these guy's ice cream. Anybody who stands up to these crazed muslim catholic fanatics and their constant attacks on our freedom of speech, and action, deserves our support. Even if it means eating ice cream.

This is their "Submit to Temptation" ad from last year, which was kind of, mmmm, luscious. 

the Statue of Refudiation

Following along in her party's instruction manual, George Orwell's 1984, Sarah Palin, had this to say about the Statue of Liberty:

"This Statue of Liberty was gifted to us by foreign leaders, really as a warning to us, it was a warning to us to stay unique and to stay exceptional from other countries. Certainly not to go down the path of other countries that adopted socialist policies," Palin said to cheers from the crowd.

Both the picture and the post's title were shamelessly stolen from here at Dependable Renegade, because it's just so damn excellent.

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BTW, here's what it says on the statue those socialist surrender-frogs gave us.

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

You betcha. 

Baby Signs Rock

This house is infested with a baby. Wasn't long ago he got up on his hind legs and proclaimed

"I am become Toddler. Destroyer of homes."

and ever since has rampaged through the house increasing entropy. Also teleporting: when I turned my back he'd be in the next room, with no measurable elapsed time, and I'd race in to see him sitting on the keyboard, smiling adorably as he sat  on the keyboard pouring a cup of coffee on it.

The fourth new board came with a plastic cover. FTW. Entropy boy countered this defensive move by learning to 'write', and by 'write' I mean scribble on the keys with a pen till you can't see the markings. Now I have no idea what some of these keys do. So in other words, nothing's changed.  None of which is my point, it's just that everybody likes cute baby stories. I read that in Tips for Writing Good.

Anyhow, they left me with the kid and told me "give him a nap", like Stalin told his generals "get those Germans out", and he put up a battle like the Wehrmacht, kicking and screaming, and in particular not falling asleep. He's in the "one-word stage" now,

[spoiler alert: this is where I get to the point]

and most of his words are sign language, because his tongue can only handle a few spoken words, and yelling "gah ba'alla goo baoogabbala malla gack" didn't really explicate his problem, and the head butts and kickboxing didn't help either.

Suddenly he stopped still, looked me square in the eye and made the sign for 'cereal'.  Then he made the sign for 'eat'.   Then, while I stared at him with an amazed, a.k.a. dumb, look on my face he signed them both twice more.
So I fed him.
Then I put him in bed.
Then he went to sleep.

Baby Signing fucken RULES!

Gang Rape is Normal

When I came back from being gone the most important thing in the news was that some cracker was going to make a bonfire and the owners of the old Burlington coat factory were going to renovate.

Outside this Former United States, other things were going on, like in the Congo,

Describing how common rape is in the country, Wallstrom said that some Congolese women have concluded that "being gang raped by many men is normal for a woman."

But who cares, right?

Holier Than Thou

Well, I took a week off, and I return to you a holier person than before.  Not any more religious, but while I was fixing up the cabinets I stuck one of these into my arm.

Bleed? It looked like the set of Carrie at the Vampire Prom.  No real harm done, but it did leave a big hole, and when the baby saw it he signed "BUG".  Yeah, we have mosquitoes here all right.

Muslim Mobs Burn Quran

(**Reposted from 10/8/08 in light of the recent idiocy in the headlines).

Fate of Prophet's (pbuh) original text remains unknown

Breaking News
Posted: 653 AD
Mecca, Saudi Arabia.

Sources in Arabia report Muslim mobs have destroyed copies of the Holy Quran in book-burnings held at cities throughout Arabia and the Muslim world.
Instigated by a fatwa of the Caliph Uthman that proscribes any unauthorized copy of Islam's Holy Book following a newly completed rescension, all existing older copies of the Quran have been rounded up and consigned to the flames.

According to noted Islamic scholar Muhammad ibn Bahadur Zarkashi “Ibn Abi Dawud records Musab ibn Sad ibn Abi Waqqas to have testified:

"I saw the people assemble in large number at Uthman's burning of the proscribed copies; not a one spoke out against him." Ali commented, "If I were in command in place of Uthman, I would have done the same."

Ali was a companion of the Prophet (pbuh) himself, during his lifetime and clearly approved the actions taken by Caliph Uthman. During Uthman's rule Islam had spread to many areas where the Muslims were not Arabs and couldn't read Arabic properly, so many variant readings sprung out. To correct this Uthman appointed a committee of scribes to produce a standardized version of the Qur'an, which was sent to each city under Muslim rule. All older copies were to be collected and burned.

Even though Arabia is one of several countries where desecrating the the Quran may be punishable by death, officials have shown little interest in this case. No arrests were made, and no official investigation has been undertaken to date.

As told by Wikipedia, most schools of Islamic law dictate that a Muslim may not touch the Qur'an, which is regarded as the literal word of God, unless he or she is in a state of ritual purity (wudu). Muslims must always treat the book with reverence, and are forbidden, for instance, to pulp, recycle, or simply discard worn-out copies of the text. Intentionally insulting the Qur'an is regarded as a form of blasphemy, and has led to rioting.

As of this writing the fate of the original copy of the Holy Quran, compiled by the Messenger Himself (pbuh) remains uncertain. The hadith make it clear that the Qur'an was available in written form from the time of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), reports Sahih Al-Bukhari, our most reliable source. He tells us,

“Narrated Qatadah: I asked Anas Ibn Malik: ‘Who collected the Qur’an at the time of Prophet?’ He replied: ‘Four, all of whom were from the Ansar: Ubay Ibn Ka‘ab, Mu‘adh Ibn Jabal, Zayd Ibn Thabit and Abu Zayd.'”

This first Quran was allegedly in the possession of Hafsa bint Umar, a daughter of Umar and one of Muhammad's widows, and was thrown into the fires and burnt with the other old copies. The loss of this original manuscript, reputed to be the literal word of God, would arguably be a great loss to historians.

Skeptics, who asked to remain anonymous, dismissed Uthman's latest move as political grandstanding designed to gain support for his illegitimate Caliphate and distract attention from the War in Baluchistan.

Blog Log

One cat, two cat, three cat, four.

Add the dogs it makes two more.

I took these dogs and cats and mouse,

and moved them to another house.

Still I wasn't finished yet,

the new house had no internet.

One day, two days, three days, four,

I worked and worked and worked some more

and all the while I worked I thought,

I wonder what the news has got?

are things improving in the war?

the gulf have fishes anymore?

my congressman is still a whore?

They hooked it up.

I looked it up.

What was seen upon my screen?

Not a keen scene,

not a green scene,

not a scene I wish I'd seen.

Mostly people being mean.

Beck hates all the other sects

hates the people having sex,

only likes the Beck's sect's sex.

A preacher wants to cook a book.

I took a look, he is a crook

why should I brook his crook book cook?

One dumb, two dumb, three dumb, four dumb,

where does all this dumb come from?

I see it here

I see it there,

I see this bullshit everywhere

no one wants to use their wits,

they sit and look at naked tits.

I do not want to blog this stuff

I do not want to blog such guff

this tough gruff stuff was quite enough.

I went to bed

I put the covers on my head

till the world is better I'll play dead.

And that is why you haven't read

anything on my blog lately.

Sex Slaves

Huffpo has an article up about men's rights. That is, the other side of the coin, men's responsibilities, like for example, don't rape people, or in this case don't enslave people. She offers the following tips. I took out her elaborations and put in my own.

1. CHALLENGE THE GLAMORIZATION OF PIMPS IN OUR CULTURE

NO SHIT! When pimps are role models, you are beyond help. Pimps are the lowest form of life there is, and I support the death penalty for them. Pimps have as much glamour as shit has nourishment.

2. CONFRONT THE BELIEF THAT PROSTITUTION IS A "VICTIMLESS CRIME"
Yeah, we shot that down.

The average age of entry into prostitution in the United States is 13 years old.

Which means the slavers (pimps) are child molesters, and so are the customers. When you see a little girl who is kidnapped and beaten, or even not in school where she belongs, your reaction would be to go out of your way to get her food and shelter. Not fuck her. If you're a man.

3. STOP PATRONIZING STRIP CLUBS

4. DON'T CONSUME PORNOGRAPHY
Mixed feelings on these two.

5. TACKLE SEXISM ONLINE
Men spend a significant amount of time online discussing their sexual exploits.

They do? If this is true, I can't even imagine it. There are a few sites I won't link to (or even name) but they repulse me too much to read and find out. Maybe I need educated. Yuk.

Squawking about these things on the internet is good.

6. END SEX TOURISM

Duh. Not sure how I personally can do that.

7. TALK TO MEN AND BOYS ABOUT MEN'S ISSUES IN MALE SPACES
Dojos. Add dojos to that list of male spaces, but that's just me. Also women's issues, because women's issues are men's issues, I hate that whole framing but I get their point. One reason women can't stop rape and stuff is because they don't have access to these spaces that are incubators where evil attitudes take root and get nourishment, and there are only men in there to stamp the little fuckers out.

8. SUPPORT ANTI-HUMAN TRAFFICKING POLICIES
Many states have no anti-trafficking legislation.

WTF? There's no law against SLAVERY? That link is eye-opening. Here I thought we had made some progress over the last millenium, fuck.

9. SUPPORT CREATION OF "JOHN SCHOOLS"

I'd never even heard of a John school. It needs a better name, but its like traffic school, only for guys busted for picking up hookers. In keeping with the Captain Obvious solution of busting the customers instead of the hookers, yeah. Then what? Well, this, duhhh. Education is always good, and this is excellent.

10. RAISE SONS AND MENTOR BOYS TO CHALLENGE OPPRESSION
You have to be taught to hate, as the song goes. In my children's classes I regularly drag out the question 'What does “respect” mean?' Generally, if they've even heard of it, the kids have no idea what it means. It's a good place to start.

Bye Bye

I'm packing up my computer. We're moving, so I won't be online for a while, until the cable company puts in their magic wires. Till then, I'll stick in one last post with some actual meat in it, that you can chew on while i'm gone.  No, not this one, the next one.

Strippers

Here's a case where some baptist have been picketing the local strip joint for years, so they decided to picket the church right back.  LULZ. 

The Baptists harass customers as they come and go, call them whores and homewreckers, even videotape their license plates and post them online. The usual. This has gone on for four years.


Finally the strippers fought back, with lawn chairs, bikinis, and barbecues, in front of the church. The first few weeks the preacher piped the sermon outside, but that "agitated" them and made them dance in the streets.

Oh, the HORROR.

 "They have now seen the evil firsthand", says preacher man, "The word of Jesus Christ says you cannot share territory with the devil".

No, but you can share it with somebody who's minding their own business.

(Here's a video. Notice the preacher's Freudian slip at the 00:05 mark. )

Here Roger Ebert tells of strippers who understand values and morals better'n any Tea Baggers.

"I find hope in the words of two American strippers interviewed by the Wall Street Journal. Cassandra, who works at New York Dolls, just around the corner from the proposed community center, said she worried that calls to prayer might wake up the neighbors. The WSJ writes: "But when she was told that the organizers aren't planning loudspeakers, she said she didn't have a problem with the project: 'I don't know what the big deal is. It's freedom of religion, you know?'"

Chris works in the Pussycat Lounge, even closer to the site. When the airplanes struck the World Trade Center, Chris became a Red Cross volunteer working with survivors. The WSJ writes she "sat on a barstool in a tiny, shiny red dress and defended Park51. 'They're not building a mosque in the World Trade Center. It's all good. You have your synagogues and your churches. And you have a mosque.'" Chris lost eight of her friends on Sept. 11, 2001, firefighters from the Brooklyn firehouse she lived next to at the time, but "the people who did it are not going to the mosque."

Cassandra and Chris reflect American values more instinctively and correctly on this issue, let it be said, than Sarah Palin, Howard Dean, Newt Gingrich, Harry Reid and Rudy Giuliani, who should know better."

Word, Roger.