This house is infested with a baby. Wasn't long ago he got up on his hind legs and proclaimed
The fourth new board came with a plastic cover. FTW. Entropy boy countered this defensive move by learning to 'write', and by 'write' I mean scribble on the keys with a pen till you can't see the markings. Now I have no idea what some of these keys do. So in other words, nothing's changed. None of which is my point, it's just that everybody likes cute baby stories. I read that in Tips for Writing Good.
Anyhow, they left me with the kid and told me "give him a nap", like Stalin told his generals "get those Germans out", and he put up a battle like the Wehrmacht, kicking and screaming, and in particular not falling asleep. He's in the "one-word stage" now,
Suddenly he stopped still, looked me square in the eye and made the sign for 'cereal'. Then he made the sign for 'eat'. Then, while I stared at him with an amazed, a.k.a. dumb, look on my face he signed them both twice more.
So I fed him.
Then I put him in bed.
Then he went to sleep.
"I am become Toddler. Destroyer of homes."and ever since has rampaged through the house increasing entropy. Also teleporting: when I turned my back he'd be in the next room, with no measurable elapsed time, and I'd race in to see him sitting on the keyboard, smiling adorably as he sat on the keyboard pouring a cup of coffee on it.
The fourth new board came with a plastic cover. FTW. Entropy boy countered this defensive move by learning to 'write', and by 'write' I mean scribble on the keys with a pen till you can't see the markings. Now I have no idea what some of these keys do. So in other words, nothing's changed. None of which is my point, it's just that everybody likes cute baby stories. I read that in Tips for Writing Good.
Anyhow, they left me with the kid and told me "give him a nap", like Stalin told his generals "get those Germans out", and he put up a battle like the Wehrmacht, kicking and screaming, and in particular not falling asleep. He's in the "one-word stage" now,
[spoiler alert: this is where I get to the point]
and most of his words are sign language, because his tongue can only handle a few spoken words, and yelling "gah ba'alla goo baoogabbala malla gack" didn't really explicate his problem, and the head butts and kickboxing didn't help either. Suddenly he stopped still, looked me square in the eye and made the sign for 'cereal'. Then he made the sign for 'eat'. Then, while I stared at him with an amazed, a.k.a. dumb, look on my face he signed them both twice more.
So I fed him.
Then I put him in bed.
Then he went to sleep.
Baby Signing fucken RULES!
1 comment:
Hahaha!
Looks like, all the irritating things grown up people do have made you so angry, that there was so *little* anger in what you described despite the obvious provocation! ;)
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