Tired of reading the news about people--murders, wars, general meanness? Just change species,  find this story. 


Feel better now.


Jars of Bullshit

OK, so now The Man has millions of tampons. Does anyone remember the reason they invented for stealing them from their rightful owners?  It was this press release, that said some pervert suspected some jars contained shit, just like they always suspect Viet Cong Al Queda Taliban Terrorists, so naturally they had to overreact ...  

Srsly: tampons and maxipads confiscated ,  GUNS allowed!  Yeah.  

So nobody anywhere has ever seen one of these suspected jars of suspected shit let alone opened one to see what's really in it but  IT'S NOT A LIE!  DOZENS OF WEBSITES SAY THEY FOUND THEM! Also, atheists are POISONING THE ANGELS WITH CONTRAILS!!110!

But wait--now, the truth[sic] comes out, three weeks later, from Governor David Dewhurst (R-19th Century). He's six foot five, see, so sneaking unnoticed through the throngs of camera-wielding protestors was simple for him, and he could look over the shoulders of those State Troopers, and what did he see?

JARS! He saw JARS! He saw the jars that the Troopers who were doing the inspections couldn't see, and he saw the shit that they couldn't see and smelled the piss that they couldn't smell.  What a guy! Ladies, with superpowers like that why wouldn't you want him to make all your decisions for you? 

Yeah, there's definitely a sack of shit at the Texas State House.



LOL!  QFT!    This video says it all. 

Here's their idiotic budget. They moved fifty bucks over to heat after people made fun of them; out of  spending money, which is supposed to cover gas and  food  too.

more here 


What the hell's an abortion clinic?

Texas wants to close "abortion clinics".  What ARE those? It brings a picture to mind--line of pregnant women in the front and a conveyor belt feeding the dumpster out back. Exactly what the revengelicals want us to picture, but it only exists in the splatter movie in their minds.

An "Abortion Clinic" would be a place where they do abortions, right?  like a grocery store is a place that sells groceries, and a gun shop is a place that sells guns, and not roses. You wouldn't go to a muffler shop to get pizza, and you wouldn't go to an abortion mill to get cancer screening, you'd go to a cancer screen clinic, except there's no such thing coz they call them abortion clinics WTF?  Autozone sells candy bars, that doesn't make them a candy store. Walmart occasionally takes out their garbage, does that make them a garbage store?

When revengelicals say "Abortion Clinic" they usually mean Planned Parenthood, but PP is a  Breast Exam-PapTest-Contraceptive-STD Treatment-Prenatal-Physical Exam-Fertility Clinic. Does a lot of other stuff too, like vasectomies--why doesn't anyone call it a Vasectomy Clinic?

PP is no "Abortion Clinic" or abortion mill, it's a Health Clinic. They're goddam doctor's offices!  That's what the right wingers want to close--they're not stopping abortions, they're keeping women from seeing doctors.  They frame the debate by twisting the language around with 1984 terms for things, and they're really good at it.  How about we quit playing their game by talking about "Abortion Clinics", as if there was such a thing?


Our New Fangled Banner

Oh say, can you pee
in the NSA's sight 
when so roundly we failed
to prevent their damn peeping

whose broad powers to surveil,
grope us all in our flights, 
have our ladyparts watched,
are so rapidly creeping

and if you ask what for
SWAT will burst in your door,
give proof that our rights
are not there anymore.

Oh see how this new-fangled Homeland will fight,
against the women and the poor
for the rich and the white. 

Happy Dependence Day, y'all!!!