Guilty Acts

The Lord makes footstools of your enemies
Shit, lots of it. Bored out of me by the first 250 pages of the bible. To not know the story of Jesus you'd have to live in the backwoods of Kyrgyzstan, or Mars, but now I'm getting to new stuff, in ACTS 2-3. JC is dead and gone, the apostles are convinced they've seen his ghost, and---Let the Scamming Begin! To fire up the crowd, they shut their frontal lobes off and babble random syllables, softening up the marks up for Peter's speech. He quotes the bible a lot, says he's going to make footstools of his enemies (!), and it sells, they sign up 3,000 people without even a cheap PA system. To reach that back row Peter'd need to put out 126 decibels, right up there with the loudest rock bands in the world. Hell of a set of lungs on that guy.

Next up, Peter heals some guy who's been crippled all his life. This seems like a problem, doesn't it make Jesus a little less special? If miracles are a dime a dozen, that anybody can do, then Jesus is not all that. Plus we've still got the problem that a guy outperforms every medical expert on earth and the world doesn't beat a path to his door. Does that only work for mousetraps? Anyway, Petey gives another speech, but doesn't do as well this time even with the great opening act. He blamed his audience for killing Jesus, which might've been the dealbreaker. He's learning as he goes.

That whole collective guilt thing always makes me think of Nazis. Jesus always harped on that theme, too, is why I never liked him. Andy, over at Laughing in Purgatory tells me it's not just Nazis and Jesus, it's the publishers of the fucking Bible. “Principle of Corporate Identity” WTF? I had to look it up, and fuck me if the christstains really don't pimp this as being something good!You better behave little Johnny, or I'll beat the living crap out of your sister.” I guess it follows, what with the whole Adam and Yves Original Sin business. I'm so na├»ve.

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