Mohammed Loves Jews

Well well, looky here. Who might this be talking to?

(2:44) ... You also read the Scriptures, why do you then not understand?

Now see if we hadn't done our homework we'd think this was just talking about any old bible humpers or koran thumpers. But we did, and we found out all about Mo moving to Medina. We're onto you Mo. There's lots of Jews in Medina, where all your new cultists are from, so now you have to sell them. And keep in mind how it didn't work out too well in Mecca, talking shit about pagans when you lived with pagans, so maybe you better lighten up a little with the 'you're all doomed to hell' when you talk to the Jews now, hmmm?

Yeah, he's pitching the Jews all right. He never mentioned them before, he was all about hating on the polytheists, but now he's—

(2:47) Remember, O children of Israel, the favours I bestowed on you, and made you exalted among the nations of the world.

Line 123 is the same exact words, and he directly addresses the Jews like that at least six times in this chapter and talks about them a whole bunch more. He goes on about Moses, and he's oh SO NICE, tells how god forgave them for the golden calf episode (line 54), he gave them manna, and made water spring out of the rocks, bla bla, and then LOOK AT THIS:

(2:62) Surely the believers and the Jews, Nazareans and the Sabians, whoever believes in God and the Last Day, and whosoever does right, shall have his reward with his Lord and will neither have fear nor regret.*

WOW! Non-Muslims go to heaven; Whoo-ee. Did Osama bin Laden read this part? Seems like I remember moslems saying bad things about the Jews. Let's bookmark this line, coz how long do you bet we'll go before it gets bukaked and buttfucked?**

*note: Some of the most popular translators use parentheses to stick in extra words so it means the opposite—only muslims go to heaven.
*tip: you only have to wait till the next chapter, 3:85.

Mohamed says bad things about the Jews, like, they killed Jesus (72), worshiped a golden calf (51, 93), don't believe all the scriptures (86), don't believe him ... but it's the Jews he's talking to, and he's just telling them “YOU'RE SINNERS!” It's tried and true preacher mode. If a preacher can't tell his marks congregants they're sinners, how's he gonna fill the collection plate save their souls? Christian ministers'd be begging in the streets.

This approach wouldn't work too well with pagans, cause they never had any tradition of original sin, or books, apostles, revelation, any of that crap. It's made to order for Jews, though, who were lubed up and ready for the next prophet to come. Trick is for old Mo to convince them he Da Man. Can he do it? Will he get his money for nuthin and his chicks for free? Stay tuned.