Singing the Quran

The Koran is in the headlines! Yay?
No; boo, hiss.

A musician in Iran used verses from the koran in his songs and they sentenced him to FIVE YEARS IN PRISON!

Double You Tea Eff?
Not all muslims do, but fuckwit-muslims say you can't sing the Koran. Here's the fatwa. Why not? Well, if you don't have paint you need to watch dry or anything else important to do, you could read this and find out, but I'll save you the trouble: It leads to adultery. Really it does, every time I hear Rihanna I run out in the street and start humping the first stranger I see. Just can't help myself.

The main thing they do with the koran is sing it! There's international competitions! Listen to this and tell me it's just conversational Arabic. Tell me a cop's going to sound exactly like that when he writes you a traffic ticket. Sorry, FAIL. Singing the Quran can be pretty though, and useful too. Here's one where you can listen to Ch2 and cure black magic at the same time, in case that's giving you troubles.

There's a special set of rules for quran reading that tell you how to sing it. It's called tajweed, and it's a whole industry. We're not supposed to call it 'singing', though, we're supposed to call it 'reciting', or else fundy muslim panties will knot up and wedgie them just oh to death, coz calling it 'singing' is rude and disrespectful and we should change the English language for them. Well, y'know what, buddy? It might be something else in Arabic, but in English it's singing.

Cashew OWNS this question here. Worth reading.

All the koran says about it is this one line, back in the earliest suras

(73:4) ... recite the Qur'an in slow, measured rhythmic tones.

The happines haters have taken that itty bitty pimple of advice, squeezed it and picked it and infected it so it grew into this whole festering pustule of idiocy. To them, I dedicate this song about the koran.

(If that player acts up try this quicktime link)