Lord of the Bling

44:37 ... the people of Tubba and those who were before them ...

Tubba? Super Mario is in the Koran? Nah, it turns out that was the ruling tribe of the Himyar kingdom, down south. God expects everyone to be up on their Ancient Yemeni history, obviously. But what about these non-tele-Tubbies? Wait, let me guess—you killed them all, amirite? Bingo, gold star, here's the rest: ... “We destroyed them because they were guilty of sin.” Lol, if you didn't see that coming you're just not paying attention.

People in heaven'll be

44:53 Dressed in fine silk and in rich brocade,

what the hell? You have to get dressed up for heaven? Have to wear a tie? Can't go braless? If I run around in raggedy old jeans and T-shirt, will they kick me out? Having to wear nylons is not my idea of heaven, I was thinking a little more spiritual, like John Fogarty describes heaven this way. His lyrics are about everyone being friends, no battles, plenty of time, happy children... sounds good to me. Mohammed describe his idea of heaven in sura 43, “ornaments of gold”

43:33 .. We would provide ... silver roofs for their houses and (silver) stair-ways on which to go up,
43:34 And (silver) doors to their houses, and thrones (of silver) on which they could recline,
43:35 And also adornments of gold.
43:71 To them will be passed round dishes and goblets of gold: there will be there all that the souls could desire,

Whoa, pimpdaddy, it's a crack dealer's wet dream! You'd need some wicked shades in a whole town made out of silver, though, it'd be like the House of Mirrors. A silver couch? I'll stick with foam rubber, thnx.

Seriously, every time Mo describes heaven its always in term of material riches, exactly how you see the evil rich drug lord living, in the movies, before the good guy ruins his shit. Where's the uplifting moral message in that? A lot of expensive crap is the best possible reward Mohammed can think of? Fogarty sounds a lot closer to what my soul would desire, if I had one. Plus he sings better.


PersonalFailure said...

and now i picture mo as tony, asking me if i want to see his little friend and complaining that his wife can't have no bebbies.

HolyDude said...

What about TVs? No TVs? Flat-panel, Plasma, LCD, DLP.... Even my local pusher has them fancy TVs man! And that's just in his car.

All them silver couches and No TV to watch.
All them gold goblets but no wine to drink.

So you are left with a Silver couch and the playboy channel showing reruns of 72 virgins. You rock Mo! You da man!!