You Offend Me

Such vast amounts of hypocrisy have gathered over New York that it has created its own gravitational field, captured the UN Human Rights Commission, and sucked it into the orbit of that absolute Black Hole of Hypocrisy, the Odious Ignoramus Club. The Commision crossed Event Horizon last Thursday by approving their sanctimonious resolution calling for laws against defaming religion (*a few days after the General Assembly rejected it). They urge “all States to ... reinforce existing laws ... to deny impunity for those who ...” do such awful things. So put the cuffs on me for saying this:

It is a matter of faith. We are obligated to hate Muslims because they are a murderous people, and the enemies of all that is good.The Muslims were behind World War I and World War II. The Muslims were behind the English Revolution. The Muslims were behind the French Revolution. The Muslims were behind the U.S. Civil War in 1869-1866 [sic]. The Muslims were behind the French coup of 1815. The Muslims were behind the war between France and Prussia. The Muslims were behind the rise of Communism. Karl Marx was a Muslim. The Muslims instigated war by means of sex. The Muslims are behind all the ruin and destruction in the world.”

Oh God, take this oppressive, Muslim, Islamist band of people. Oh God, do not spare a single one of them. Oh God, count their numbers, and kill them, down to the very last one."

OH SHIT! I got that all wrong, it's not Muslims we have to hate, it's Jews. Sorry, my bad. It wasn't even me saying it, it was Said Al-Afani, a sheek on Egyptian TV and the guy praying was another sheek, on Qatari TV. My racist bigotry still needs a lot of work. Not like this asshole, who practically jerks off watching actual footage of nazi concentration camps! (I wouldn't click on that link unless you really wanna ruin your day.) I'm down with defaming the shit out of people like that, but how could I do it? Dictionary, dictionary, let's see:

de·fame (v) 1: to harm the reputation of by the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations.

False, yeah, false is bad. I'd never say the Jews caused the US Civil War, because it would make me look like a FUCKING MORON. I'll have to hurt their reputation by saying true things about them. Hmmm. What is their reputation now, to start with? Free association time: Islam...9/11, Mumbai Massacre, honor killings, FGM, gays executed, women stoned to death, buried alive, acid sprayed in their faces, riots over this that and the other, banning Mickey Mouse, Harry Potter, the most common name in the world, love, air.

Jesus, they're worried about somebody making THAT reputation worse? You could easier sell AIDS injections. Here's a clue-if you don't want to be thought of as assholes, stop being assholes! And you'll notice, all these assholes quote the Quran at you. Speaking of assholes, what offends me is the idea that no one should offend their religion. They offend me, after all. In fact, I'm pagan, I think of the Earth itself as kind of sacred, but whenever I go outside, and I see something like this.
Offends the shit out of me. I guess I better go set fire to my neighbor's car.

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