Uzza Gets Lippy

43:16 What! has He taken daughters to Himself of what He Himself creates and chosen you to have sons?

Of course he has, you silly twit. He's god, after all, he knows everything, and if males were better he'd pick them. But he doesn't. Cavepeople figured this out way back in the cave people days. Jesus, try to keep up.

If there is a god, Oog said to Moog, it has more in common with females than males. For starters it has to create new life, and nurture its children, and you don't see a lot of men breastfeeding and giving birth. Males are optional, but you need females for the species to survive. Plenty of creatures do without males at all, but there aren't any species with only males and no females. God wouldn't pick a lot of measly sperm donors, if she's not female herself, she'd at least make females the center of things. Even bees have this figured out.

17 And when one of them is given news of the birth of that of which he sets up a likeness for Allah, his face becomes black and he is full of rage.

You're right, a bunch of hypocrites. What they oughta do is hold a big celebration in honor of their new godlike baby girl.

43:18 What! is one decked in ornaments and unable to make plain speech in disputes a partner with God?

19 And they make the angels--them who are the servants of the Beneficent Allah--female. What! did they witness their creation?

Fractally wrong question. First off, we don't make them females, they're already females. That's why we call them the Daughters of Allah, duhh... hello? They're not servants of god, they are gods. Daughters are not servants, asshole, no matter what kind of perverted fantasies you have. And finally, they're not angels. The Jews have angels, we have goddesses. If you like what's in the Jews' moldy old books so much, go be a Jew. Or a Christian. Just go. Epic Fail, Mo-man.

Did we witness their creation? Fuck you preacher man, yeah, we did witness the godesses' creation. We witness it every time we open our eyes. And what we see is a universe full of incredible beauty and wonder and miraculous things that are part of us. Your lame ass heaven and hell and petty little god aren't even a caricature. Piss off.

*** about that line 18...

Ahmadiyya says it's talking about idols,

43:18. The reference in this verse is to the idols which were bedecked with ornaments. The inability of the idols to speak is adduced by Abraham as an argument against their divinity (21:63), and the same inability of the idols to answer the prayers of their devotees is advanced as an argument against the divinity of the golden calf (20:89).

Kathir says it's talking about women.

this line “means, women are regarded as lacking something, which they make up for with jewelry and adornments from the time of childhood onwards, and when there is a dispute, they cannot speak up and defend themselves clearly, so how can this be attributed to Allah”

How the hell did he get that out of v18? Well, if you don't like what it says, get a different translator. Pick a women-hater like B. Moeinian:

43:18 How dare they assign a baby girl, wrapped up in ornaments and unable even to talk, as God's daughter?

There, fixed. It's still not clear if the beef is with having idols or the idols being female, but who cares as long as we get another chance to rag on the bitches, yo. Some translations are more misogynistic than that, others are more idol-istic. I don't know what it says in Arabic, but bottom line, nobody knows what it means so you might as well ignore it. Which could go for the whole book, now that I mention it.

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