Thou Shalt Not Lie WIthout Witnesses

OK, somebody asked, what was “the lie” that knotted the quran's panties back in ch 24? The full and complete koran that doesn't need anything else to supplement it or you'll go to hell doesn't say, but the story is all famous. Here's the snark version.

Aisha got stranded out in the desert. Some guy gave her a ride home. People in the cult were all “Ahhh, she fucked him.”

QUIZ

You're Mohammed, people are badmouthing your wife. Do you:

(a) Man up and defend your wife, tell them to STFU
(b) Ask for her side of the story, try to find out what happened
(c) Dump her slutty ass

If you answered (a) or (b) you're just not prophet material. A real honest Man of God^®, such as Mohammed, believes every unfounded rumor that comes their way and hides from cooties. He stopped coming around to visit her, even though she was sick in bed [*remember, that's his "wife" we're talking about]. When she got better and tracked his sorry ass down, she found out about the rumors and got in his face about it. Yay, Aisha. You go girl!

He was noncommittal, in his usual chickenshit way, says allah will tell him if she is innocent or not. Way to be supportive there, asshole.

Then he goes into his old patented “Getting a message from the Lord” routine, panting and falling down and ... well, you've seen it in MarJoe and Jesus Camp.

When he comes to he's got verses 24:11-20 that say they're all talking shit, they shouldn't gossip, and then to stall off the possibility of saying something that's actually intelligent for once, he throws in line 13, that says no one is ever telling the truth unless four male witnesses back them up.

¹³ Why did they not bring four witnesses to prove it? When they have not brought the witnesses, such men, in the sight of Allah, (stand forth) themselves as liars!

So now we got shit like this: