Hey Buddy, Can You Spare God a Dime?

OK, back to the Koran. It's Koran time, Whoo hooo!  So there were these twelve Israeli captains, see, and God gave them their orders. Here's what they gotta do:
Pray. ...... check
make donations. ...... check
swallow whatever codswallop my apostle Mo hands out. ...... check
loan me a few bucks. .... WHAT??!?!?

[5:12]  God did aforetime take a covenant from the Children of Israel, and we appointed twelve captains among them. And God said: "I am with you: if ye (but) establish regular prayers, practise regular charity, believe in my apostles, honour and assist them, and loan to God a beautiful loan, verily I will wipe out from you your evils, and admit you to gardens with rivers flowing beneath; but if any of you, after this, resisteth faith, he hath truly wandered from the path or rectitude."

ROFLMAO! It's not a typo, every translation says that. Give god a loan? What, he's down on his luck, he can't just say “let there be a million bucks” anymore? Why does god need money in the first place? Bills to pay?  Cthuhu is pressing him for the rent?

Once I stopped laughing I asked muslims to explain it, and they said:

“God has promised to return to man every penny that he spends in His way along with His reward,”

That's what the Mormons tell you, give 10% of your gross to the church, (notice the bait & switch there, god --> church) and god will make sure you will get it all back. Poor people say this, mostly.
See, God has a slush fund for after you're dead, where he dispenses Heavenbucks, good only for new harp strings and whatnot. Can't spend them down here.

Give god a loan. Bwaahaahhaahaa.