My dick is God

You know what pisses me off? Well, little yappy dogs, but also atheists. Atheism is the lack of a belief. Nothing wrong with it, it doesn't require you to believe gods don't exist, just not to believe they do. Then 'these  people' come along and say they are 100% certain that no gods of any sort exist. That asserts an hypothesis that technically speaking cannot be supported on logical grounds; or, as I like to put it in my pithy illimitable way, it's fucking stupid.

Lissen up, these people. You can't argue that an undefined concept doesn't exist, and if you don't say what you're talking about you're not talking about anything. Also, you don't know what I mean when I talk about god; you just assume whatever I mean has this and that characteristic and go blathering on all smug like you hadn't just committed the logical equivalent of burping Pepsi out your nose. Then when we show you some other kind, you just say, “but I don't call it god” as if reality depends on what you call shit. 

“all modern conceptions of monotheistic gods include at least two common properties. First, god is presumed to be supernatural. Second, god is presumed to be unknowable.”

Presumed by Atheist Revolution, that is, one of these people. He says “no gods exist” and then tells us how a god with these four characteristics is bullshit as if that had some bearing on his premise “there are no gods of any kind”. I'll sic Hindus on him for 'modern' and 'mono-', but he's typical, what's the word I'm looking for, ignorant? ethnocentric? arrogant? Sophomoric, yeah. If you make a claim about every kind, then you have to account for every kind, not just the ones you've heard of that are supernatural and not cactus plants or people. You're making a positive claim: anything that anybody, anywhere, ever called god, isn't real. All it takes is one counterexample to jump your claim like a horny teenager, so here we go

There's a God , and I can prove it.

>>Great, have at it.

My dick is god. It's real, too, if you want I can show you it.

>>No, that's Ok. I'll believe it exists, but it's not god.

Sure it's god. Lots of guys think their dicks are god. We could be one of the world's great religions.

>>Well I don't call it god.

Well I don't call it my dick. Neither does my girlfriend, but we weren't arguing about what to call it.

>>We weren't arguing about your dick, either, we were talking about whether god exists.

Sure, here it is, look.

>>Put that back! Nobody says god is your dick.

So my girlfriend is nobody?

>>No, no, she's somebody, but she doesn't mean it the way we're using it.

I think it's not up to you to tell her what she means.

>>Whoa, no disrespect, it's just that the rest of the world means something different.

Oh, we're voting? The rest of the world's opinions count but hers doesn't?

>>Well, if she means that literally, she just doesn't understand what the word means.

Oh, now you're calling her stupid.

[the debate ends with calls to 911] 

If you don't like my dick, you can substitute the universe or Earth. If that's too uncomfortable, Mother Nature, or Einstein's 'orderly harmony of what exists'. There isn't any argument over whether it exists, only over what to call it. You'll look pretty stupid trying to convince the North Koreans that Kim-Il-Jong doesn't exist, or Stephen Hawking's god:

“One could define God as the embodiment of the laws of nature.”

Or as my dick, but the laws of nature exist, too. Since you can't keep insisting they don't, you'll have to change your argument and tell Hawking he can't say that. But who made you god?

Arguments over whether gods exist are really just arguments over what to call shit, and you'd see that, if you were smart, like Richard Dawkins:

“In this sense, I too am religious. But I prefer not to call myself religious” and “I would have preferred it if physicists such as Einstein, Hawking and others would refrain from using the word God” 

That's what you say if you're smart, but 'these people' are just like the god-bots.