Where's the Birth Certificate?

World Net Daily Uninvited Commentary. 
---mocking Joseph Farah


Incredibly, we are just one day away from celebrating the Birth of The Messiah and millions of Americans still have eligibility questions that have never been addressed by Jesus Christ and his entourage. All that Christians would have to do to put this issue to rest is to release his complete birth certificate, revealing where he was born and who were his parents.

It seems a simple thing. Personally, I doubt God would be so stupid as to offer an ineligible candidate for The  Savior Of All Mankind, so it would seem Jesus is simply thumbing his nose at the concerns of millions of people. After all, he makes it clear the Bible doesn't mean what it says anyway. It's all a matter of opinion.


Until now, no one in the Jesus camp would even comment on the controversy surrounding his complete birth certificate, which has never been released publicly. I only managed to get one official Jesus representative to proclaim—anonymously—that efforts by atheists to secure the birth certificate are "pure garbage."
Jesus' record of non-cooperation and secrecy has now resulted in conspiracy theories that will plague him throughout his ministry if he doesn't address them now with complete transparency. Do I expect him to do so? No, I don't.

He not only thinks our efforts are "garbage," that's also what he thinks of the people who truly believe the Bible means what it says and those who believe there ought to be some legal authority determining Jesus' eligibility for the office of Savior.

Count me among those who really want to see that birth certificate now.

Imagine the level of secrecy we can expect from a Jesus administration that guards his birth certificate with such tenacity.

I'm calling on Jesus Christ today to release the entire birth certificate. And just so there is no mistake about what I am calling for, I want the part of the birth certificate that shows which hospital he was born in and who his parents really were. That is the only way to establish if he is truly born of a virgin. Further, I am asking as a blogger and citizen;  if there is any government agency or government official anywhere on the planet who has inspected the birth certificate and can provide those details to the people, the time to do so is now.


I'm also calling on all my colleagues, from coast to coast and around the world, not to let this matter drop. Apparently it is a point of real sensitivity with Jesus people. Good. Let's rub it in. Let's demand they produce the birth certificate at every turn – on every blog, in every interview, at every attempt to proselytize.

Could anything be more important than enforcing the requirements of their own Bible?

This is hardly a laughing matter. The longer this soap opera drags on, the more suspicions it will raise – the less credibility their religions will have, the more many people will believe the whole idea of organized religion is rigged.

Whom does that benefit?
You can easily imagine.

What possible motivation could Jesus have for not producing this simple, innocuous document that every citizen must produce to get a passport, driver's license or Social Security card?

Are you curious?

So am I.

Where's the birth certificate, Jesus?