Messianic Boogers (mark)

OK, I read the Gospel of Mark. Not sure why, though.

Remember writing essays in school and including every source you can scrape up? You only found two articles and one's just a summary of the other one, but you want it to look well-researched so you include them both? Yeah. Did I mention there's nothing in Mark that's not in Matthew?

(Well, there's one thing: Jesus was gay. The censors redacted part of it, but they missed the naked man running away from Jesus when they arrested him. It always seemed fishy Judas kissing him like that, know what I mean? My guess was they busted Judas for being an evil sodomite and he made a deal with the DA to let him go if he pointed out his partner in the Homosexual Agenda. Hey, it could be.)

The more references the better, I guess, and they could hardly include that gospel from OMG a woman, or the one with the women apostles, so we're stuck with this repetitious crap. You'd die of boredom unless you play 'spot the lulz' where the details don't match,


to get a sick guy to Jesus, Matt just used the door, but Mark lowers him down through a hole in the roof. It's an early day helidrop.

There's no zombie invasion this time, dead people just stay dead. The apostles only get to preach and harass demons; no bringing stiffs back to life like they got to with Matt.

The woman Jesus discriminated against was a Canaanite, for Matt, but in Mark she's a Greek Syrian Phoenician. Srsly. Matt only hated one ethnic group, but Mark was more egalitarian,see.

Mark says his family thought Jesus was out of his mind. Matt left that out, but I'd say they could be onto something.
One thing Mark keeps saying is that Jesus told everybody to keep things on the down low. He even told the evil spirits to keep mum about him. Irony hadn't been invented yet so his followers wrote it all down in a book, lol, and now it's on the internet, so I looked it up in Wikipedia and found out this is a Big Deal(TM), it even has a name, it's the Messianic Secret.

Wiki gives explanations—from theology, and philology, but they left out the best one, the 

Explanation from Stupidity.

People are stupid, and cult followers raise that to the highest power (so to speak). When their leader does anything, anything at all, he could have a booger on his lip, they'll interpret it some way that makes him super awesome.

Our two year old has a cold, and yesterday he sneezed, and two rivers sprang forth on the banana he was biting into. If he was a cult leader you can bet those would become the Messianic Boogers, and revered as a sacred mystery.

 Anyway, that's Mark's gospel.

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