the Trench

You know what's the worst thing? Well, reading this book is the worst thing, but next to that? A bad history teacher. They turn a super fascinating subject into an eye-bleeding list of who conquered whom. Or Who. Cares. They should teach sex ed. Teenagers would lose all interest. The birth rate would plummet.

(The quran, uzza, talk about the koran.) Oh, all right. I keep reading this shit, seeking The Lord's Eternal Message to Humankind, think I understand it, and then find out it's just reminiscing about some ancient old battle. I read all of chapter 33 and never realized it was talking about the Battle of the Trench.

I'd never heard of the battle of the trench, have you? No, not the Somme, or Verdun, it turns out somebody dug a ditch around a little piss-ant town in some desert once. That trench. That's the one god thinks is too important to leave out of his tweet.

Here's what it says

"Remember the enemy attack? You were scared shitless. Some of you wanted to haul ass, and would've switched sides if you could. You promised to fight. Hey, we all gotta die sometime. Some of you guys are chickenshit. Mohammed was a good example*, though, and God made the pagans leave without a fight. Then he terrorized the Jews so you could kill them and take everything they owned." (33:9-27)

here's what happened

The Meccans were fed up with the cult's piracy on the caravans, and sent an army up to Medina. The Mo-men dug a trench around the city, the pagans laid seige for 2-3 weeks, gave up and went home. Afterward, the Mohammedans rounded up their neighbors the Qurayzah tribe, beheaded all the 700 or or so men, took all the women and children as slaves, and took over all their houses and property. Details here. Mohammed got at least one of the women, name of Rayhana.

Why? Booty, man, booty! They stayed neutral in the battle, yeah, but they thought about backing the Meccans. Thinking bad thoughts about mo's cult is oppression, remember, and oppression is worse than killing. Besides, they were juice. Evil Juice.

Hard as I look, I can't find any justification for this massacre. The most I can find is that the Qurayzah were going to reject their nnon-agression treaty and switch sides, but they NEVER DID SO. History is written by the victors, right? and all this information comes from Mohammedan sources, so what actually happened has to be worse than what they wrote, and what they wrote couldn't be any worse. Once we know all that “context”, reading these lines is a whole lot different.

[33:25] GOD repulsed those who disbelieved with their rage, and they left empty-handed. GOD thus spared the believers any fighting. GOD is Powerful, Almighty.

[33:26] He also brought down their allies among the people of the scripture from their secure positions, and threw terror into their hearts. Some of them you killed, and some you took captive.

[33:27] He made you inherit their land, their homes, their money, and lands you had never stepped on. GOD is in full control of all things.

[33:61]Truly, if the Hypocrites, and those in whose hearts is a disease, and those who stir up sedition in the City, desist not, We shall certainly stir thee up against them: Then will they not be able to stay in it as thy neighbours for any length of time:
[33:62] They shall have a curse on them: whenever they are found, they shall be seized and slain (without mercy).

*[33:21] Ye have indeed in the Apostle of God a beautiful pattern (of conduct) 

I'll go take a shower now.