Hallelujah, brother. The Quran talks about Jesus for twenty or thirty lines starting at 3:33. Line 55 says he died a natural death, and he didn't rise from the dead neither, so suck it, Christians. Nyah nyah. Mo got a lot of his stuff from old Jewish stories, like the Gospel of James, cuz how was he gonna know which books would get included in the bible later? It's not like he's some kind of prophet who could tell the future. Oh, wait.
Anyhow, the Infancy Gospel of Thomas tells how the baby Jesus, when he was just a little boy, 'bout up to his daddy's knee, he breathed into some clay birds and made them come to life. Who could doubt that? I knew muslims believe in the bible, so I Wikipedia'd Islam's holy books (yeah I'm lazy), and they mention a bunch of other books I've never heard of, but not these ones.
This chapter is called 'the family of Imran'. He was the father of Moses, but line 35 says his wife was Mary's mother. I ran my laser eyes over this whole same story back in chapter 19, and I didn't even notice this, but if these are the same people somebody'd have to be 1400 years old. Y'see how observant I am? It's controversial. I don't care.
Here's something else to not care about. Zacharaiah was Mary's gaurdian, and he asked the Lard for a sign, and the Lard agreed to send him a sign, and guess what it was? Split the heavens? Nah. Sprout a beer volcano? Nah. Get this, are you ready? His Powerfulness tells old Zach what
3:41. ... "The token will be," was the reply, "that you will speak to no man for three days except by signs.
LMFAO! Talk about cheap-ass Dollar Store omens, his crappy token was an order to keep his mouth shut. Lazy slacker Lord couldn't even be bothered to get up off his godly ass and strike him dumb even, he had to do it himself. So wtf, talking in sign is a token from the lawrd? LOL, I've gone for weeks at a time doing that, and nobody ever got pregnant. Hell, I know deaf people who spend their whole life talking in sign. They'd be popping out babies like a popcorn machine!
Naturally I looked for the koran in sign language, and I had a helluva time finding it. The Islamic Research Academy says you can't translate the Koran into sign, so I guess that means all my deaf friends will go burn in hell, and they're fine with that. FUCK YOU Islamic Research Academy. I managed to find the first sura in British SL, but I can't view it. I never noticed it before, but the BSL sign for the letter Y looks like an ASL word for clitting off, LOL. Thought I'd share.
Back to being dignified, here's a prayer in Saudi Sign Language.It's from the SignWriting website, which is nerdy fun.
Finally, I found somebody signing the koran! Hooray! It's Arabic SL, so I can't understand what he's saying, but it looks pretty cool anyway. Turn the sound off to watch it; those cats mating in the background are really distracting.