2/10/09

Mohammed's Night journey


Here we are reading the koran in order, at Sura 17 we're nearly halfway through it and we come to the famous story of Mo's Night Journey (this is more of verse 1). Why is this story not in the koran, when it's so famous and important?

Lemme see if I've got this straight. The angel Gabriel appeared and talked to Mo. It goes in the Koran if Mo said Gabriel said God said it. It goes in the Hadith if somebody else said Mo said Gabriel said God said it. So in this story, Mo said God said it—the only time god ever spoke directly to him, and HE LEFT IT OUT OF THE KORAN! Sure, that makes sense.

Yeah, Ok, so moving right along, Mo goes up to heaven, to the pearly gates, and Saint Peter asks him .... Oops, wrong myth. But yeah, he goes to heaven and somebody asked: Who's there? Who's he bringing in? Does he have an appointment? Then, once god's security team has checked them out, they let him into heaven's first floor. On each floor he meets a different person from the bible—Adam, Joseph, Moses—who gives him props. At the top it's “7th floor, Abraham, Lotus tree, God.”

At least, that's one version. This story is from al-Iman, 75:1:309. But in 313 he says “He (the Holy Prophet) mentioned that he found in the heavens Adam, Idris, Jesus, Moses and Abraham (may peace be on all of them), but he did not ascertain as to the nature of their abodes except that he had found Adam in the lowest heaven and Abraham in the sixth heaven.” So which is it? Did he ascertain them like he did in 309 or is 313 telling the truth? For that matter, I'd like the witness to revisit the opening scene and tell the court again just exactly where this purported “vision” is supposed to have occurred. Will the court stenographer please read back the witness's earlier statements?

313 : The roof of my house was cleft when I was in Mecca and Gabriel descended ...
312: Three beings (angels) came to him in the mosque of the Ka'bah, while he was sleeping in the sacred mosque ...
311: Gabriel came to the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) while he was playing with his playmates ....

D.A. “So, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the witness has told us that this happened at Mo's house, it happened at the Mosque, and even that it happened when Mo was a little boy. May it please the court, I'd like to make a motion that the testimony of this witness is contradictory and unreliable and should be struck from the record.”

JUDGE: “Motion granted. Bailiff, please escort the witness to the door, toss him out on the sidewalk and throw rocks at him. Let the record show that Malik reported this, but also in al-Iman 1:312 “The rest of the hadith is narrated like that of Thabit. However, some portions have occurred before and some of them have occurred after; some have been added and some deleted.” Case dismissed.


Another part of the story has Mo bartering with god over how much to pray. God told him 50 times a day. He went back down to the sixth floor and Moses told him that was too much. Instead of of insisting that this is the IMMUTABLE WORD OF GOD and not to be questioned, he took the escalator? elevator? Back up and bitched about it. God knocked off five prayers. Mo goes back to Moses. Not good enough. Sends him back. This goes on till they get down to five prayers a day, at which point Mo gets tired of the whole thing and gives up. So that's why muzzies have to pray five times a day.

Everybody seems to have their own version of all this. They all agree that Hell is on the first floor of heaven. Ishaq goes into a lot of detail describing it. Apparently this story was the inspiration for Dante's Inferno, with women hanging by their breasts and stuff like in the picture above. I guess before the internet, you had to get your snuff porn wherever you could find it.


9 comments:

HolyDude said...

I was just catching up on previous posts that I missed during my long absence from the blogosphere.

I have a question regarding this post. Who was this persian painter? And how come he has survived the blasphemy charge since he has drawn and painted Mo? And while on the topic of the painting, what exactly is MO riding? A Horse or Aiyesha or Both?

uzza said...

Welcome back, HD. The critter's a Buraq , a woman-headed winged horse from Arab mythology, mentioned in the “Edge of Seventeen" post. Dunno exactly who is the painter, but the pic is from a 15th century Persian manuscipt called Miraj Nama, that's in the French National Library. The ban on depictions is only in the last few hundred years, and more an Arab thing than Persian.

KICS said...

The Koran States:

Glory to (Allah) Who did take His Servant for a Journey by night
from the Sacred Mosque to the Farthest Mosque,
whose precincts We did bless,
- in order that We might show him some of Our Signs:
for He is the One Who heareth and seeth (all things). [Qur'an 17:1]

So the Koran states that Mo went from the Sacred Mosque to the 'Farthest Mosque' - from A to B. There at the Fsrthest mosque he was able to see God's signs.

Now let's think about this, did Mohamed see these signs in Jerusalem? No, he saw them in heaven. This then proves that the 'Farthest Mosque' cannot be located in Jerusalem. According to the proponents of the Farthest Mosque being Jerusalem, Mohamed's journey was A to B and then C, where B is Jerusalem and C is heaven. But the Koran states that he went to the Farthest Mosque - and most importantly, no further. It says nothing about him travelling from the farthest Mosque to heaven. Clearly, slap-in-the-face clearly, the Farthest Mosque is situated in heaven - according to the koran.

It would be interesting to determine just who it was that first decided to make the Farthest Mosque situated in Jerusalem. Who ever it was didn't read the Koran carefully enough, for he turned a one-leg journey into a two-leg journey - duh!

Of course there was no Mosque in Jerusalem until 5 years after Mohamed's death. Muslim apologists clutching for straws claim that a Mosque is simply any place of prostration, so the mosque was simply the former site of Soloman's temple - then nothing more than a pile of stones at the time of Mohamed's journey. So by their definition, a mosque could be the corner area of your back garden where you keep the compost?

Also, there were other places of prostration, places to pray, that were 'further' away than Jerusalem. So again Jerusalem could not have been the farthest mosque.

Tell your friends!

Anonymous said...

This site is very disrespectful, and though I am not a Muslim, I feel offended on their behalf. Muhammad was a prophet of God and should be accorded reverence.

uzza said...

Kics; this comment is so good I added it as an update on this post here

Anon; oh bite me. How can you believe Mohammed is god's prophet and not be a muslim, you hypocrite?
We don't have any reverence for nutjobs who claim to be prophets, because they usually end up diddling little kids. Come to think of it ...

KICS said...

Uzza,
I'm curious about whether 'Jerusalem' is routinely parenthetically added to the 'Farthest Mosque' in the 17:1 verse in the koran. I mean the Arabic versions too.

The Jewish claim to Jerusalem stems from the fact that Jerusalem was the Capital of the Hebrew tribes for generations. And the Muslim claim is that Mohamed jumped on his Buraq from there (an incident for which there are no witnesses) - a claim that has no Koranic basis. Now put those two matters on the scales of justice and see which one is heavier.

Abdullah said...

@uzza,

You bastard,first get yr facts right..you are such a son of a bitch,that without gewtting yr facts right you open yr fucking mouth too soon..seems yr mouth serves the purpose of yr ass,yr a real bastard,i must congratulate you bcoz yr gonna burn in the utmost depths of Hell..just wait 4 a few more days asshole,bcoz then yr gonna die..nd then d real party will begin for you..haha,i am so happy thinking about it..

And although i don't debate with fukers like you,but let me tell you one thing..i can refute each and every point that you have made..bcoz it's all baseless and illogical..but to understand my answers,u need to have logic in you,which unfortunately neither yr dad'd sperm nor yr bastard mom's pussy passed on to you..so,suck yr dick and be happy in tht you mother-fucker..

One last point,
who told you that just by believing that Prophet Muhammad(May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) is god's prophet,one becomes a Muslim. First get yr facts right smarty,and then let's have a debate if you have the guts in you.Just by posting on a zionist site,and getting applause by like-minded people is no big deal..bcoz no one was showing you yr real worth and status,u were just going on and on,basking in your self -created glory..

And yeah do let me know how does it feel to stink in Hell....would love to hear it from you bastard..

Anonymous said...

@the fucking asshole uzza

with all due respect, go fuck urself.
did u ever get anything logical in ur entire life. i guess u were born, this very thing is illogical.

and yes if u ever get to know any Muslim who hates Jesus or Moses, do let everybody know. That person is not a Muslim. we are taught to respect unlike u. i think ur fucking mother could only fuck with everyone so poor woman didnt get time for you.

Sorry for you and ur fucking life here and hereafter...

Abdullah said...

@ uzza. Wht happened mother-fucker bastard,before u were jumping a lot in yr talk.now all d shit has gone out of yr fucking head,and yr sucking yr own cock dese days it seems.bloody jerk !