Sura 11 Reruns

Sura 11 is a really shit chapter. It starts out bad and degenerates.

V2 “... I bring to you from Him a message”
LOL! This is supposed to be god talking, right? If I is god, who is Him, and how'd he get god for an errand boy? Here we go again; you could spend forever trying to figure this out. Or you could just eat light bulbs. Sigh. Then I read on and I thought was rereading the last chapter. He repeats his silly question
18. Who is more wicked than he who invents lies about God?

You'd think somebody would've answered him by now. “Everybody, dude. Your mom!” He throws out the Sura Challenge again,

13. Do they say (of the Prophet): "He has forged (the Qur'an)?" Say: "Then bring ten Surahs like it ..."

Maybe somebody took him up on this one. He's upped the ante--now you've gotta give him ten whole chapters. Just no pleasing this guy. He mentions the super cuss word again, still with no explanation why god is such a troublemaker:

110. Verily We gave to Moses the Book, but there was disagreement about it. Had the decree of your Lord (delaying it) not been issued the matter would have been settled between them.

Still sounds like god should just put a sock in it and we'd all be a lot better off. He repeats his stock Abuse Excuse® from 10:44,

101. We did not wrong them; they wronged themselves.

Oh right, pilgrim, after listing how he's wiped out the entire planet. Not his fault, they made him do it. “Those fuckers, inventing lies about me so I have to kill them all the time. Damn, it's hard work being the Beneficent, the Merciful.” He throws out this old whine again too,

29. I do not demand for it any wealth from you, O my people. My reward is with God.

Remember it when we get to chapter 8 and he wants 20% of everything.

(8:41) And know that whatever thing you gain, a fifth of it is for Allah...

Y'can't be too greedy when you're just a poor little street preacher with no army. Just you wait, though, Mo dreams big. Most of the chapter is retelling the horror stories, how god killed the people of Noah, Ad, Thamud, Moses, Midian. This line in the Noah fable cracked me up:

27. The leaders of the people who were unbelievers, replied: "We see that you are but a man like us, and see that none among us follows you but the meanest and immature of judgement, and do not see any excellence in you above us. In fact, we think you are a liar."

Y'gotta hand it to those unbelievers, they're a pretty perceptive bunch. Here's the punch line though. In the original bible story Noah didn't say jack to the people, and his only followers were his family. Sounds like Mo is projecting: the Meccans said this shit about him, and it sounds right. When you wanna recruit members for some neo-Nazis wacko cult, you always wanna go down in the trailer parks across the track and look for the meanest, most immature losers down there. That's where you find your followers.


PersonalFailure said...

"A pagan reads the Quran" is the awesomest idea for a blog evah!

mad props, yo!

Sorry, i think the picture of the dog in the confederate flag pushed me right over the edge.

Baal's Bum said...

It's gods way stir shit and blame his minions . The same way an abusive husband blames his wife when he beats her.