Flogging

Well, actually the title of Chapter 24 is “Light”, but if allah wasn't all senile and naming things at random, floggings is what he'd call it. Looky.

² The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case,

FLOGGING. UR DOIN IT RONG.

But fuck that compassion shit. After all, anybody who fornicates is forever after a lower class of human.

³ Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.
²⁶ Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity.

It's the cooties, see. Once we get them, there's just no getting rid of them. We need to be segregated off in leper colonies, except these are impurity colonies. Getting into these colonies might be a little hard, though...

⁴ And those who launch a charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations),- flog them with eighty stripes; and reject their evidence ever after:

You need four witnesses to a charge of adultery? What moron makes a rule like this? Who the hell has witnesses when they are committing adultery? You're gonna get it on in the middle of Wal-Mart? That's too kinky.

Oh, but instead of four people as witnesses, you can just repeat yourself four times. Oh shure, that's logical.

⁶ And for those who ... have (in support) no evidence but their own,- their solitary evidence (can be received) if they bear witness four times

Figure this. You say it once you're a damn liar, you get eighty stripes. Say it four times, you're an impeccable witness.No wonder those Islamic theocracies are

all

fucked

UP!

But then maybe I shouldn't be so hard on them,

they are our beloved allies, after all.

Think things would be better if we put the christians in charge? Think again.