Defensive Sieging

(WARNING. Long boring post ahead. Viewer discretion advised.)

Finally, now we've got the backstory we can read Chapter 59 without WTFing every other line. It starts out with

[059:002]  He it is Who caused those who disbelieved of the followers of the Book to go forth from their homes at the first banishment you did not think that they would go forth, while they were certain that their fortresses would defend them against Allah; but Allah came to them whence they did not expect, and cast terror into their hearts; they demolished their houses with their own hands and the hands of the believers; therefore take a lesson, O you who have eyes!

some thing about some people of the book? who destroyed their own dwellings, after something? cast terror into their hearts. With help from the Believers^®. Because they resisted The Messenger^®.

Here's what it's all about.

The leader of the Aamir tribe sent Mo a gift of two camels, two horses. Now, that's right neighborly of him, I'd say, but Mohammed, he was like “Don't you be giving me no presents. You don't join my cult I ain't taking nothing from you. Keep your stinking horses and camels.”

Being sane, the Aamir weren't down with that plan at all. They sent off a delegation to negotiate, and Mo sent them an even bigger delegation, 40 or 70 guys depending on who you ask. In the meantime, the leader's son takes over the Aamir tribe. He doesn't seem to like the new cult much because when the delegates show up he murders them all. Oops. Guess he wanted to be a 'war president'.

He leaves two alive to send back with the news. On the way home these two survivors meet up with the Aamir delegation coming back from Mo's hood. Feeling understandably cranky, they murder two of the Aamir d00ds in their sleep. Ain't politics grand?

That was a mistake, because now Mo owes blood money for the murders. That's how they rolled, back in Olde Araby. He agrees to pay, and goes to his neighbors the Nadeer tribe to hit them up for a contribution.

(WTF the Nadeer? They're allies of the Aamir, the guys who got killed. Why would they help Mo pay for killing their own allies? For that matter, why don't the Aamir have to pay Mo for killing all his d00ds? Wtf?That's Middle East politics for you, as bad then as it is now.) Anyway, they agreed to meet and talk things over.

Mo comes with a bunch of his buddies and makes his pitch. The Nadeer guys leave the room to hold a conference, Mo and his crew wait. Mo gets antsy, and I think I know why. Remember Na'b? His mother was from this tribe. And then too, they may not like having their allies murdered. So once they get out of Mo's sight, it's no surprise he starts suspecting a plot. Remember, it's not paranoia when people really want to kill you. He might've been an asshole but that goes with being a good politician like sex and a hard-on. So guess what he does, this little Super Holy Islamic Teacher?

He says he's going out to take a leak, and splits, and LEAVES HIS BUDDIES BEHIND. That's right, he told them to wait for him, and he snuck off. Now call me fickle, but when the boss leaves me there to get killed, my loyalty is a little bit tested. Not these guys. They finally get wondering, and go looking for him, find him back in Medina—and they DON'T KICK HIS ASS! WTF?!?! Can we say Stockholm Syndrome?

Instead of an apology, Mohammed issues an ultimatum to the Nadir:

Mo: “GTFO. You got ten days to pack up everything you own and leave town.”

Nadr: WTF? We have a treaty.

Mo: “'Hearts have changed,' Muhammad said. 'Islam has wiped out our old covenants.' ^{(Tabari VII:158)”}

Nadr: We ain't leaving our homes,upstart. You've been here four years, our ancestors are here. Piss off.

MO: “The Jews have declared war”!!!1!!1!!!eleventy!!!”

Then we get into the 59:2 stuff. They hole up in their fortresses and Mo launches a siege. Of course, only a defensive siege, since Mohammed only fought to defend himself. Defensive siege-ing: it's new new kind of war, not like the old new kind of war.