Sin Or Die

Chapter 2 of The Quran has been charged with misquoting the Bible
Genesis 2:17 :

But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

Got it. Don't eat the tree. The tree is not for nomming. Eve was onto god's tricks, and she knew he meant the fruit--even though he didn't say so. She had god figured out, and she was playing it safe, 'If that fruit's poisonous enough to kill me, I'm not even gonna touch that shit' That's what she told the serpent:

“... God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die” (Genesis 3:3)

But here's the Noble Quran (it's a Count or a Duke or something? Maybe it's the Duke of Earl!), and god says you can't eat it, you can't touch it, hell you can't even go near the damn tree.

2:35 And when WE said `O Adam, dwell thou and thy wife in the garden, and eat therefrom plentifully where ever you will, but approach not this tree, least you be of the wrongdoers.'

“Among the wrongdoers”, it says, or evildoers, or transgressors. What wrongdoers? There weren't any before the Fall. The whole point of the G of E story is that there was no sin then. No Evil in the G of E. No death even. T-Rex was eating coconuts, and lions ate bushes, ones that didn't die when they got eaten, apparently just stayed alive all though getting chewed up, digested and shit back out. Sounds kind of horrible.

Anyway,

Biblegod: don't eat froots......||......Korangod: don't approach tree
Biblegod: you'll die.......||.......Korangod: you'll transgress

Interesting. Mohammed has to say the bible is corrupted, because otherwise he's full of shit since his stories don't match up. But what about 2:4? Remember 2:4, at the very beginning, when it said we have to believe the Bible?

2:2 This is the Book; in it is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fear Allah; ...
^2:4 And who believe in the Revelation sent to thee, and sent before thy time,

First off, here it is in black and pink (monitor's old) that the Quran is only for Jews and Christians. Nobody else believes the revelation sent before Mo's time. Unless he's talking about the Upanishads and like that who don't have the G of E story to contradict. All those kaffirs who don't believe it or never heard of it? Fuck 'em, they can all go to hell. And in this book that's not just a figure of speech. 

Second off, the revelation is that god said don't eat it, or you'll die--and we gotta believe that. Then, Quran/Mo has god say don't even go near it, or you'll sin. Hey, Mohammed, that's NOT WHAT GOD SAID. Duhh.

Oh wait, I get it. We can believe both: you'll die if you eat it, but you're a sinner if you just approach it. If you shinny up the trunk, make hot passionate love in the branches, and pig out on the fruit, you're a dead sinner. No contractions here.

Charges dismissed. Duke Quran of Earl, you're free to go.