5/4/11

Cat kills Blogger


So I'm giving my cat a bath. She doesn't like it. She gets a good solid grip on the middle knuckle of my right hand and starts doing the PREDATOR SHAKES PREY to KILL IT to DEATH thing. Her prey(that'd be me) finished the bath while she was distracted,and came out with a matched set of deep puncture wounds.


I didn't take it personal, coz she had a bad rash that seems to hurt a lot, and there I was, scrubbing the darn thing clean, so yeah, bites. Only now my hand is a bright red heat pad looking ham thing that HURTS LIKE HELL, and I am all sick and dizzy.

I just googled "cat bites" and apparently I will now swell up, lose my appendages, suffer immeasurably, turn into a gollum, and then die. Do you think I should go see a doctor?

Crap.

4 comments:

PersonalFailure said...

I got bitten by a cat when I was fourteen and ended up with a lymph node under my jaw swollen to the size of- no lie- an apple. I was quite healthy at 14, and the doctor said it wasn't that uncommon a reaction. Cat bites are no joke.

margaritadelnorte said...

Yeah, I stopped bathing my cats quite a while ago. I figured we'd all live longer. Poor both of you. A little benadryl might help overnight (reduce allergic response, help sleep). You won't start losing limbs until tomorrow at the earliest.

JoƩ McKen said...

I can't say I've ever been bitten by my cat. But then, I never tried giving her a bath, either.

On the other hand, I don't have my cat anymore, anyway, so I suppose you still win in the end.

Ralf Muschall said...

Beware - cats are just snakes with fur and legs (see http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/03/be_afraid_be_very_afraid.php, http://cheezburger.com/View/4622676992). But I assume that you (as a responsible cat owner) have antivenin stored.