12/30/09

So What?

God Damn It! That's not a  line from the koran, although it's pretty good summary of half of the book, especially if the 'it' is nonbelievers, but this 'goddamit' is because I had thought we were through with all that killing and wars and bloodshed crap. No such luck. Chapter 59 starts out with this;
59:2 He it is Who caused the disbelievers of the People of the Book to go forth from their homes at the time of the first banishment. bla bla Allah ... cast terror  into their hearts bla bla...
Here we go again. My first reaction when I read something like this is a big fat hulking “So What”? (well, not my first. My first reaction is “wtf is it talking about NOW? Then after I google the shit out of it for 3 credits in Ancient Arabian History, then my reaction is 

Three possibilities here:
(1) If this is Gawd's literal word and it really happened just like it says 1400 years ago, then, well, so what? God caused some people to leave home. BFD. This has what to do with me? I don't believe it so I should move? Right, I'll get right on that as soon as god casts a little terror into my heart. Meanwhile, So What? His lesson here is open to any interpretation--maybe god did that because they didn't believe in going down on their wives. Works for me. 

(2) If this is some obscure historical detail, about some pissant tribe in some pissant desert somewhere ancient pissant ages ago, that only an expert in Arabology would understand, then “So fucking What?” I don't even like deserts.

(3) If this never happened, it's just some urban legend handed down amongst some pissant TribeISPDSAPAA, then “So motherfucking fucked-up What?” WHO CARES?




Jeez.





Three possibilitie for this book:




(1) If the HolyNoble Quran is the literal Word of God, then God is fucking insane. Aside from all the blatant contradictions and stupid, half the time he's talking to Mohammed, not me, and He says things like “O Prophet...” It's like reading other people's emails, and I was taught to MYOB, so like, "so what?" but  presumably god said to put that in the book, so like I said, God's insane. If he wants me to worship him, he's should at least be able to write a decent paragraph. I can do it—he should worship me!

(2) It's Mo talking and he thinks god really told him all this shit. Then god's off the hook, but Mo looks like he's suffering from severe forms of brain damage. I mean he's trying to sell us on a god who looks like a colossal asshole, and besides, there's WAY too much coincidence. What did Aisha say, “I think the Lord hastens tell you to do whatever the fuck you want.” Something like that.

(3) It's Mo talking and he's just a damn con artist. In that case, they aren't coincidences, they're dead giveaways. “Oh hey, guess what? God just told me I need to fuck your wife. How about that?” The only puzzle is why these dumb camel herders didn't just kick the shit out of him. Correct that, he was a damn GOOD con artist.
My money's on a combination of (2) and (3), so he's just one more psycho cult leader, and this book is what he said , and so, well ...
“So What?”


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