Mohammed had no Hands!

Suppose a guy ordered his peeps to sneak down the back roads and hide by the side of a highway; and when some unsuspecting traders came along they jumped out and shot at them till all the ones still alive ran away; and they hijacked the entire shipment—leather goods, raisins, and wine—and drove it all back to the boss; and he rewarded them for following orders; then he dictated a whole speech on how to divvy up the stolen goods. Wouldn't this verse apply?

^5:8 As to the thief, Male or female, cut off his or her hands: a punishment by way of example, from Allah, for their crime: and Allah is Exalted in power.

Seems to me it would. 

theft is the illegal taking of another person's property without that person's freely-given consent. 
Someone who carries out an act of or makes a career of theft is known as a thief

Sooo .... that's why Mohammed just had two pirate hooks. This is a little known fact, that must be true, because Allah wouldn't have set a bad example, now would he?