They'll Stone Ya ...

Can you tell the difference between these two critters?

Bryan Bible Thumper Fischer of the American Family Association can't. He's lusting after a good stoning, and if he can't do it to a human being, he'll settle for an Orca (that'd be the one on the left). The logistics I'll leave for you, or if such a thing is even possible, but he's all creaming himself over Exodus: "When an ox gores a man or woman to death, the ox shall be stoned, and its flesh shall not be eaten, but the owner shall not be liable." (21:28)

That's right, the third graders that wrote the bible demand stonings for killer oxen, although they forgot to specify about killer whales. Bloodthirsty Bryan is happy to fill in the blanks though. If your oxca kills a second time, sez he, you die right along with it. "the ox shall be stoned, and its owner also shall be put to death" (Exodus 21:29) .

Wow. OTOH, the Koran doesn't demand stoning whales or anything. Well some of the lower life forms that read it do, but it's not in the Koran. Remember chapter 24, line 2 where it says 100 lashes for adultery? No stoning. In fact the koran never mentions stonings, but the bible calls for it thirteen times. Slip up and give your kid to Molech one time, buddy, you're in the queue. So the Koran loses another round in the Worst Book in the World Sweepstakes. Yay, I guess.


Robert Madewell said...

Fischer is now backpedaling fiercely. He now says that he didn't say that the whale should be stoned or that the owners of seaworld should be stoned either. He's a little right, I suppose.

But, there's the problem with using the bible as justification. The bible does say to stone the animal and the owners as well. The bible is so over-the-top in its punishment that I think there's times that christians should distance themselves from using it as justification. Unless, they want to be associated with cruel and unusual punishment.

uzza said...

Damn, he really is. Apparently not only does 'ox' means 'killer whale', but 'stoned' means 'euthanized painlessly', and 'die right along with your animal' means 'get sued'.

See, I'm really a good Christian, I just interpret scripture differently than he does. Like "tithe"? That really means 'flip off'.