World's Worst Creature

Whoohooyippee, chapter 98 is “the Clear Proof”. Finally, we're gonna find out exactly WHY all these people believe Mohammed, and why we should oughta too. I'm so excited I just peed my pants. I can't wait.

¹ Those who reject (Truth), among the People of the Book and among the Polytheists, were not going to depart (from their ways) until there should come to them Clear Evidence,-

Yay! Now we're talking sense. Clear evidence, damn straight.

² An apostle from God, rehearsing scriptures kept pure and holy:

Wtf?

³ Wherein are laws (or decrees) right and straight.

That's your evidence? Some guy said it?

⁴ Nor did the People of the Book make schisms, until after there came to them Clear Evidence.

Wasn't very clear then, was it? Fuckwit.

⁵ And they have been commanded no more than this: To worship God, offering Him sincere devotion, being true (in faith); to establish regular prayer; and to practise regular charity; and that is the Religion Right and Straight.

Commanded. Nice. I especially like the part about charity--to the local Hindu Temple I bet.

⁶ Those who reject (Truth), among the People of the Book and among the Polytheists, will be in Hell-Fire, to dwell therein (for aye). They are the worst of creatures. "the worst creation that allah has fashioned”

That's right baby, I'm worse than psychopathic mass murderers and the AIDS virus and fire ants. Worse than these.

⁷ Those who have faith and do righteous deeds,- they are the best of creatures.

Ok, what about those who have faith and act like this?

⁸ Their reward is with God: Gardens of Eternity, beneath which rivers flow; they will dwell therein for ever; God well pleased with them, and they with Him: all this for such as fear their Lord and Cherisher.

And we know this how? You said so.

---the end---

For fuck's sakes. “Clear Proof”.