General Nastiness

and Corporal Punishment

OBEY MOHAMMED! Do whatever he says, goddammit. He's just like God.

[4:80] He who obeys the Apostle, obeys God:

See? And if that don't convince you there's 4:13, 4:14, 4:42, 4:64, 4:69, and just for good measure,

[004:059] Obey Allah, and obey His Messenger

See? How many damn times I gotta tell ya?

4:89 Infiddles. Doan be frenz wif em.

107,109 don't stick up for other ppl:

[4:107] Do not argue on behalf of those who have wronged their own souls; GOD does not love any betrayer, guilty.
[4:109] Here you are arguing on their behalf in this world; who is going to argue with GOD on their behalf on the Day of Resurrection? Who is going to be their advocate?

Not me, boy that's for sure. None a that touchy-feely sympathy and forgiving and sissy pussy shit for this good old boy. That there Advocate, ain't that a fag newspaper? I just heard about it, don't gimme that look.

Line 18, Mo's onto them Catholics and their death bed confessions:

[4:18] Not acceptable is the repentance of those who commit sins until death comes to them, then say, "Now I repent." Nor is it acceptable from those who die as disbelievers. For these, we have prepared a painful retribution.

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[4:48] GOD does not forgive idolatry,
Now what does this mean? I thought it meant god doesn't forgive idolatry, but what do I know, I'm just a damned infiddle. Luckily my copy of the koran has a note to explain, (*note:One can always repent from any offense, including idolatry). Now that might seem like a contradiction, but think about it. Just because god will ignore you, that doesn't mean you can't do it. Repent up a storm. You really need your Gullible Goggles for this though;

 

[4:116] GOD does not forgive idol worship      

4:153 “Yet they worshipped the calf even after clear signs had come to them; even so we forgave them”

.............god, make up your mind, god.

I panicked when I came to this:

[4:148] GOD does not like the utterance of bad language,

Oh shit oh fuck oh dear. I am so busted. But wait, my copy is Khalifa's translation, let's look at some others. They don't say fuck bad language at all. Here's Shakir:

[004:148]  Allah does not love the public utterance of hurtful speech unless (it be) by one to whom injustice has been done;

See? We can drop F-bombs like the US Air Force, this isn't about that. “Hurtful speech” that must mean all those calls for jihad and shit—it's OK if you've been injustified. I'm all pagan and shit, I think we should respect the Earth, and everywhere I look I see

This guy's been done an injustice, and since he can't speak for himself, I'll speak for him :

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

There, see? No lightning bolts. If there was a god I'm pretty sure it'd be less pissed at a few vowels and consonants than at exterminating an entire biosphere. Fuck bad language. Fuck bad actions.

In keeping with our general theme of nastiness, that 'beat your wife' verse turned up this quote from Aisha, the Mother of the Believers, who ought to know.
"I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women."(Bukhari 7;72;715).

Word.