Conservatives against Jane Doe

Summary of the case.
Plaintiffs charge that the accused, by undergoing an abortion, has committed the crime of murder.

The court finds as follows.

WHEREAS, if a person invades your residence, use of deadly force against that person is justified if you reasonably believe you are in danger of death or great bodily harm. (Castle Doctrine, aka 'stand your ground' laws)

“Residence” refers to a place of abode that is more than merely temporary. (US legal definitions)

"person". An embryo, from the moment of conception, is a person (Personhood laws)

“Great bodily harm” refers to injuries that create a substantial risk of death or that cause serious, prolonged loss or impairment of the function of any body part or organ, or cause permanent disfigurement.

WHEREAS, one in every 250 pregnancies result in death; and those who survive inevitably suffer great bodily harm as defined above,

THEREFORE, any woman upon finding herself pregnant, has good reason to believe she is in danger of great bodily harm and is justified in the use of deadly force to defend her abode. The court rules self defense.

Case Dismissed.

Dress Code

Thumbs up for Senator Bobby Rush

Middle finger up for journalist impersonator Geraldo Rivera.

 
Short skirts cause rape, hoodies cause killing.
---New rules from the party of personal responsibility

This has a Peel

Gas prices getting to you? Thinking of getting a moped? But it rains too much? No problem!

I just discovered the the Peel P50, the world's smallest production car.

"He then drove the P50 through the corridors of the office building ... and used a standard passenger lift (elevator) to get to a meeting, which he attended inside the P50. At the end of the meeting Clarkson drove out of the building"

How is that not full of win?

Made in England
Fully street legal
Classed as a moped
100 mpg

 What's not to love?

$82.00 a page

So the Supreme Court is  working on  looking at the ACA  ...

JUSTICE SCALIA: Mr. Kneedler, what happened to the Eighth Amendment? You really want us to go through these 2,700 pages? (Laughter.) And do you really expect the Court to do that? Or do you expect us to — to give this function to our law clerks? Is this not totally unrealistic? That we are going to go through this enormous bill item by item and decide each one?

Ho, ho, ho, Mr Scalia, do you really expect us to write you a check for $223,500.00? Or is this not totally unrealistic, that you should earn your fucking keep? How about you take that eight amendment and cruelly and unusually shove it up your ass. 

P.S.  LOLyeah!

Mimic Mutts

If you can have Baby Signs, why not Doggy Signs?

I dunno, why not?

True Christians?

WHOA, this is full of awesome. Atheist guy sues local Christians over some nativity flap. Christians--in Texas!--respond by paying his medical bills.

 here I was all ready to give up on the human race ...

Illegal Impregnation

The latest theocrat mockery is by Suzanne Wilkes, who says men should have to pay for "use and maintenance of our bodies".

She's drafted sample legislation that makes it a felony to impregnate a woman without posting bond, getting a notarized consent form, and all the usual legal steps to protect property ... 

It's great; read the whole thing.

Citizen's Rights

There are an estimated 30 million illegal aliens in the United States, and pro-life activists want to increase that number by another 1.2 million PER YEAR!

Every citizen of the US is guaranteed certain inalienable rights, among which are those of enjoying and defending life and liberty. “Personhood” bills being pushed in many states would extend those rights to the moment of conception, or even before.

Where's your  Green Card, buddy?

Needless to say, those pre-born persons are neither natural-born nor naturalized citizens of the US. These undocumented aliens pay absolutely no federal or state income taxes, yet they seem more than happy to take advantage of the free social services and benefits offered to them. Not to mention these economic parasites inflict untold pain and suffering, even life-threatening major surgery, on US citizens who are forced to house, feed and care for their every need.


Since these interlopers are not US citizens, one must ask why the U.S. government should provide them with protection? If these non-citizens are the responsibility of the U.S., does that responsibility also extend to the  100 million pre-born non-citizens in other countries throughout the world?

With the U.S. economy already on the verge of complete and total collapse, can we ever fully recover if Barack Obama and the U.S. Congress open the door for illegal aliens even further, or will it create a social and economic nightmare that none of us would even dare to imagine?

Today, there are approximately 20 million American workers who are unemployed or who are underemployed. More than 36 million Americans are on food stamps and that number continues to increase each month. Over 13 million American children now live in poverty. We cannot provide for the people that are already here, and yet the U.S. government is actively seeking to increase the flood of illegal immigrants that are streaming into this nation.

These new “personhood” bills will add at least twelve million mouths to feed over the next ten years. Where in the world will they get jobs? How in the world will we take care of them all?

Keep America for Americans! Vote “no” on personhood!

cribbed mostly from these morans, 

People doing the right thing

First time I've heard of this happening. 
The city manager fires himself from a $176,000 / year job to save the city money.   Can we have more like him please.

Dan O'Leary; CEO,  not Asshole

SALUTE!

Also, props to Allison Catalano for refusing to go along with her Regressive boss's anti-woman crusade.  She shows she's not an Ordinary Man.

SALUTE! 

You can't make this shit up

I just found out the christian churches have a  

Ministry of Deliverance.

  It's purpose

"is to set free those who are in bondage."

ROFL!  Slippery knots, that's the way to go.

Little known facts

Lactation is not related to pregnancy. Who knew?

"lactation is not pregnancy, childbirth, or a related medical condition."

Sez the judge.


After the TSA finds a handgun in your carry-on bag, how long do you have before they arrest you?

... about an hour and 40 minutes later that she was taken into custody.

We're making America safer; please hold.

Cuteness Cubed

We need cuteness; how's this? 

This little guy is not only full of cutitude, he is one of nature's wonders. How wondrous is he? He shits cubic turds, that's how wondrous.

Srsly. He's a wombat, and they go around pooping out little hay bales.  Check it out. This Ozzie biologist even made a model...

Life before conception

OOh, OOH, this is better than the wasted sperm bill.  It's Bible-based.

"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee;"---Jeremiah 1:5

David Barton (snicker) says

If you consider that life begins at conception ... and I have to consider that Biblically, life begins before conception because it says "before you were in your mother's womb I knew you." So I gotta say, well it at least begins at conception. How you handle that Jeremiah verse that says before that I knew you, you know that's an interesting question.

Before you were in there you were still you, spermie: God says.

Some liberal senator get on this, pleeease, and file charges against spermie-boy for unlawful entry, trespassing, home invasion, and assault on that innocent Egg-American that was living in there before he snuck in.

yes, Yes, and YES!

THIS MUST BE READ.

Guest Post: A Doctor on Transvaginal Ultrasounds

Elevating animals

This really touching and eloquent post is by Personal Failure, one of those immoral atheists you hear about. Her dog Bo has a cognitive processing disorder, and with mutual empathy and understanding they thrive together.

It's ambrosia to the offal of "influential evangelical Christians", Professional liar David Barton  and Rick "food stamp recipients are wild animals" Green, on hate radio saying Disney movies suck

Barton: ... they elevate animals to mankind’s status ...  
Green: Yeah, it starts making you think that they feel and they think ...
Barton: And they don’t.

If by "feelings" you mean hatred, bigotry, grudges and prejudice, which are the only feelings you sots have, then yeah, animals don't have those. It astounds me how these pseudo-humans can ignore reality so well.  Somebody here doesn't think all right, and it ain't Personal Failure's dog. 

Why "birth control"?

Sandra Fluke testified about medical treatment for a bunch of different medical conditions; why are we talking about "birth control"? If you're prescribed some drug to keep from losing your ovaries, with infertility as a side effect, how is that "taking birth control"?

Oxycontin makes it hard to get it up, so you must be taking "pecker control".

Cyanobacteria calling, line 4.

This sign is BLASPHEMY!!!1!

according to Senator James Inhofe, that glacier is still there. It's outrageous, sez he, to suggest that humans could change God's climate, no matter what blue-green algae do. He cites Genesis 8:22, but he misses the footnote:

‘as long as the earth remains there will be seed time and harvest**, 

**Yea, verily the cockroaches will drill baby drill and prosper, harvesting the liquified remains of the foolish species who preceded them, to fuel their giant Kochmobiles, and the world will continue forever and ever, with lulz, Amen.

Kids and gayness

I’ve been forced to explain homosexuality to my kids (aged 3 and 4) because their uncle is gay. This incredibly difficult and traumatic experience went as follows:

Child: Why does Uncle Bob go everywhere with Pete?
Me: Because they’re in love, just like Mummy and Daddy are.
Child: Oh. Can I have a biscuit?

We’re all scarred for life. Scarred, I tell you.

from Redcognito.

Quote of the ... century?

"... it was fun, fun, fun. Where else could a red-blooded American boy lie, kill and cheat, steal, deceive, rape and pillage with the sanction and blessing of the All-Highest? Pretty Good Stuff, Brudder!"

If you don't know about MK ULTRA, and even if you (think you) do, you should read this article. New info has come to light about it, about what you'd expect. This is what they did in the '50s--what do you spose they're doing now? 

"You have no choice"

A woman tells her story in the Observer, it's pretty harrowing.

“I don’t want to have to do this at all,” “I’m doing this to prevent my baby’s suffering. I don’t want another sonogram when I’ve already had two today. I don’t want to hear a description of the life I’m about to end. Please, I can’t take any more pain.”

Before he could even start to describe our baby, I began to sob until I could barely breathe. Somewhere, a nurse cranked up the volume on a radio, allowing the inane pronouncements of a DJ to dull the doctor’s voice. Still, despite the noise, I heard him. His unwelcome words echoed off sterile walls while I, trapped on a bed, my feet in stirrups, twisted away from his voice.

Notice the part where they force the doctor to lie to you. This whole thing should be required reading.

New Flag

Too Funny!

Reptilian Senator Ryan McDougle is a big supporter of the Rape Rooms. He gets mail.

more at Daily Kos

You get what you pay for

I've been in shock since Dec 19th, when Psychopath of Defense Leon Panetta said 

the Iraq war "has been worth it". 

Now I've had time to recover from the sheer obscenity of that statement, What did we get for three prosperous countries destroyed and millions killed and maimed?

In Afghanistan, the president says

"Men are fundamental and women are secondary,"

In Iraq, the government says

 "emos were "devil-worshippers" and the ministry "has official approval to eliminate them as soon as possible".

Gee, seems like a bargain, don't it?

Fuck You, Issa,

and Hooray  for:

Sen. Nina Turner, (D) Ohio
You want Viagra?   have to see a sex therapist, receive a cardiac stress test and get a notarized affidavit signed by a sexual partner affirming impotency,

 Rep. Kelly Cassidy (D) Illinois
“They need to see a visual depiction of the treatment for the most common side effect to Viagra use, which is priapism, and it’s not a pretty procedure to watch,”

 Sen. Janet Howell (D) Virginia,
 undergo a digital rectal exam before recieving a prescription for erectile disfunction drugs.

and props to the 

Wilmongton Delaware City Council 
"every sperm is sacred"

It'd be nicer if you'd do the job you get paid for, but since you're all just going to fuck around ...

From the Asylum

Driving down the street today I saw this on a billboard.

Boy  howdy, ain't that the truth? They gave a web address so I went and looked. It's pretty cool.

Not everybody in this state is a raving lunatic, even though it usually seems like it. Check out that section on Pending Legislation:

Refusal of care?
Two trip mandatory ultrasound?
 Life begins at conception?

Got 'em right here.

best thing I've seen all year

Dolphins in trouble. People help them.

Thank God for Cindy Jacobs

who babbled this back when the regressives were infesting Scarolina

South Carolina will be the state which releases a new 'David Anointing' on the one chosen to seek after God’s heart and kill the goliaths in SC and America.

Yeah, I hate all those damn Goliaths, stomping around, smashing cars, abducting people.  Well, Her prayers worked! I haven't seen a Goliath around here since.  Praise the lord!

Pander 101

Cult member Williard Rmoney, who lies about his own name, is in the South, Freudianly saying

“I am learning to say ‘y’all’ and I like grits and things,”

"because even though I hate the slimy shit, saying I like it might get me some votes" he did not say ... and  learning to say 'things' like "I'm honest", and "I'd make a good president".

Here's his score

and an update 

Lulz

International Slut's Day

Today is

International Women's Day!  

In honor of women everywhere ...

eight states want mandatory ultrasounds ... 

Oh, fuck it.

Dawkins Converts!!1!

In the Telegraph, I see this:

so naturally I'm all WTF and click on it. A page opens that says

Speaking at a debate at Oxford University with the Archbishop of Canterbury, the man regarded as the world's most famous atheist admits the same thing he's been saying for 20 years.

It goes on to say "There was surprise" and they were "incredulous". FFS.

Is there really?

Some nice news

Rush Limbaugh Advertiser Exodus Continues as 22 Companies Pull Ads

Watching this train wreck is gratifying. Can it be true, society is finally creeping to the point where women are respected? Wow.

Update: that 22 is now 42 46.

TERRORIST ATTACK IN VIRGINIA

A massive horde of well-armed Al-Queda Affiliated Terrorists®, ...

 ... uh, posing as ordinary citizens who object to forcing women to be raped...

attacked the Virgina State House today ....

... by standing on the steps of it...

 ... with handmade signs and slogans ...  

Like this.

... forming a Clear and Present Danger® and Red Level Security Threat®.   Not to worry, the snipers and SWAT team were on hand ...

  WTF?    For a silent protest--with babies?

Who are these goons?  Are they Ordinary Men?

...to stand between the anti-family baby killers and the heroic defenders of freedom ...

 ?!?  now I'm confused ..

Following a brief standoff ...

... the terrorist forces were engaged ...

 ...  what, no pepper spray?

and soundly defeated.

The Republic of Gilead  is now secure. 

Please return to your telescreens.

Sperm-Americans

Props (I guess) to the Wilmington DE city council for passing this bill.

"{E}ach 'egg person' and each 'sperm person' should be deemed equal in the eyes of the government and be subject to the same laws and regulations as any other dependent minor and be protected against abuse, neglect or abandonment by the parent or guardian,"

Now THAT'S equality.

On the other hand, we pay these people to fuck around like that? Oh, right.

Muslims are now Mormons

The Mormon Church posthumously baptised Anne Frank, Daniel Pearl and Pol Pot but that was just a sideshow. Today they went after the big guy: Mighty Mo, Mohammed Prophet of Islam.

That's right, Mo is now a Mormon. All you Muslims will have to follow Joe Smith, trade your Korans for Books of Mormon, trade in your burka for magic undies, and make your pilgrimage to Salt Lake City. Once those oil shieks start sending in their tithing, maybe the LDS can finally overturn gay marriage.   It's a whole new ball game.

Rumor has it that Jesus is next in the tub, so all you Christians better get ready to make the switch too.  I don't know why they didn't think of this years ago. 

a Good Senator

....that State Sponsored Rape bill ...

"You can't tell me forcing a probe into a woman's vagina against her consent is anything but rape. You can put icing on it, dress it up, but this is the forced penetration of a woman's vagina without her consent."

"What if a woman is fighting the probe? Is the state going to drug her? Are they going to tie her down? How far can we go?"

Yeah, that's what I've been saying. Alabama Senator Linda Coleman (D-America), is a person with good sense. The kind of person we want need running this country.  More like her please.

On the other side of the aisle, Rapist Wannabe Greg Reed (R-Republic of Gilead) is a suppurating pustule that sells vaginal probes, lies about it, doesn't understand biology, says women are too stupid to know what 'pregnant' means, and thinks God talks to him.  Just another cancer cell in the body politic.

"I would be fighting right on down to the end – to me for someone to insert something in me and I say no I don’t want this, I would be fighting to the end."

Keep fighting, Senator. We need you. 

Fuck a Senator

heh.

That's Senator Judy Eason McIntyre, standing up against the rape rooms. You go, Senator.

I was about to give up

on the human race, and then I saw THIS.

click me. Ai haz a cute!

As long as there are people who do these kinds of things I guess I'll hang in here. How could I not?