Allah's Guide to Military Strategy

WARNING: another long tedious post.

Getting into the meat of chapter 59 now. You looking for spiritual guidance? Piss off, this is about warfare, baby.  He launches a siege. They have fortresses and they're all set, they're looking pretty good. But Mo, he's got an inside tip, he knows they're gonna lose, like the guys at Badr just did

15 Like those who lately preceded them, they have tasted the evil result of their conduct; and (in the Hereafter there is) for them a grievous Penalty;-
Get it? His cult won at Badr so obviously god is on his side, so that's why
14 They will not fight you (even) together, except in fortified townships, or from behind walls. Strong is their fighting (spirit) amongst themselves: thou wouldst think they were united, but their hearts are divided: that is because they are a people devoid of wisdom.
13 Of a truth ye are stronger (than they) because of the terror in their hearts, (sent) by Allah. This is because they are men devoid of understanding.
Terror? What's this? There's more of it, Mohammed saying they were terrorized, like,
I have been made victorious with terror, cast in the hearts of the enemy” Sahih al-Bukhari 4:52:220, Sahih Muslim 4:1062, 4:1063 4:1066, 4:1067
Think this just might have something to do with those assassination squads, like the one that murdered Ka'b the poet?

Mo's buddy Ibn Ishaq, had this to say about that:
Our attack upon God's enemy cast terror among the Jews, and there was no Jew in Medina who did not fear for his life.”
Some accounts tell how he turned some of that terror at the other Jewish tribes who had treaties with his victims, so they wouldn't come and help. Here the koran's talking shit about them.

11 Hast thou not observed the Hypocrites say to their misbelieving brethren among the People of the Book? - "If ye are expelled, we too will go out with you, and we will never hearken to any one in your affair; and if ye are attacked (in fight) we will help you". But Allah is witness that they are indeed liars.
12 If they are expelled, never will they go out with them; and if they are attacked (in fight), they will never help them; and if they do help them, they will turn their backs; so they will receive no help.
And that's what happened. The Qurayzah tribe didn't come to help them, which was dumb, because later the cult turned on them and massacred them all. See, appeasement of Mohammed's religious cult is a bad plan. Does this have any significance in today's modern world?
So, they were ok holed up in their fortress, but something went wrong:
2 It is He Who got out the Unbelievers among the People of the Book from their homes at the first gathering (of the forces). Little did ye think that they would get out: And they thought that their fortresses would defend them from Allah.

Damn! Allah, he went and got them out. How'd he do that? An eyeblink like Jeanie used, disappear the walls in a puff of smoke? Nah,

2, cont ...But the (Wrath of) Allah came to them from quarters from which they little expected (it), and cast terror into their hearts, so that they destroyed their dwellings by their own hands and the hands of the Believers, take warning, then, O ye with eyes (to see)!
So they not only got kicked out, they had to do the work themselves. Suxx. With a little help from the believer's hands, notice, and what were those busy little believer-hands doing? They cut down all the orchards.

See, the Geneva Conventions of the day was the old Mosaic Law. These Jews weren't barbarians, they had a thriving economy out there in Nowhere Land, and they didn't approve of clear-cutting.

"When you besiege a city a long time, to make war against it in order to capture it, you shall not destroy its trees by swinging an axe against them; for you may eat from them, and you shall not cut them down. For is the tree of the field a man, that it should be besieged by you?
"Only the trees which you know are not fruit trees you shall destroy and cut down, that you may construct siegeworks against the city that is making war with you until it falls." (Deu 20:19-20)
That's advice for my little pagan heart, but Mo came along and decided these traditions were quaint and obsolete. He decided god told him it was ok to commit murder in the holy month when there was traditionally no fighting (remember naklah?). About those trees? Fuck em. Cut em down and burn them. “The Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.” God said so, see? Here's Ann Coulter Mohammed justifying himself after:

5 Whether ye cut down (O ye Muslim!) The tender palm-trees, or ye left them standing on their roots, it was by leave of Allah, and in order that He might cover with shame the rebellious transgresses.

By the leave of Allah, see? How can ya argue with that? It'd be like saying little George shouldn't've started a war.

Mohammed goes to their orchards, cuts down and burns all the date palms. That was the source of their livelihood. Without their crops they've got no way to live out there in the desert. So they give up, agree to leave all their weapons behind and move somewhere else. Might as well, you can't eat sand. Then Mo gloats over winning ...

3 And had it not been that Allah had decreed banishment for them, He would certainly have punished them in this world: And in the Hereafter they shall (certainly) have the Punishment of the Fire.
4 That is because they resisted Allah and His Messenger. and if any one resists Allah, verily Allah is severe in Punishment.
Messenger, Allah, hey, it's all the same thing man. We already settled that. The really, only, pressing moral issue here is—Who gets the loot? Remember God said Mo gets a fifth of all war spoils, so you'd think... Oh, never mind what you think, Mo's keeping everything, and god has his back, natch.

6 What Allah has bestowed on His Messenger (and taken away) from them - for this ye made no expedition with either cavalry or camelry: but Allah gives power to His apostles over any He pleases: and Allah has power over all things.

That “cavalry or camelry”, that means it's not really a war when you just besiege their city, ravage their fields, destroy their livelihood, send Predator drones, bomb the shit out of them. And since it's not a real war, Mohammed doesn't have to share, y'see, cuz it's not real booty.

7 What Allah has bestowed on His Messenger (and taken away) from the people of the townships,- belongs to Allah,- to His Messenger and to kindred and orphans, the needy and the wayfarer; In order that it may not (merely) make a circuit between the wealthy among you. So take what the Messenger assigns to you, and deny yourselves that which he withholds from you.

...and don't complain, bitches! It goes on like this for four verses, making sure nobody in the cult starts demanding their 20% share. Then Mo passes out a house to this wife, a house to that wife, maybe take over the biggest fort for himself, easy street, baby!

Muslims are always on about how simple and frugal Mo was, but that's bullshit. All that real estate stayed there and got lived in, just like Kristallnacht.

The Jews were rich because they had orchards, and were raking in the dough from the fig industry. After, the muslims had sand and tree stumps. They didn't make a living off that, so where'd they get their income. Hmmm? They weren't raising crops, but there's always this:

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