L'Etat C'est Mo

My diapers got in a knot over this line

(105) Say not (to the Prophet), O Believers: "Have regard for us (ra'ina)," but "look at us (unzurna)," and obey him in what he says. Painful is the nemesis for disbelievers.

Spozed-to-be-god-talking is demanding obedience to Mohammed. WTF! Cult Alarm! Cult Alarm!! Battle Stations!

This is Ahmed Ali's koran. Kafirgirl and I agree: AA is a dickwad who keeps sneaking in propaganda, the Fox News of translationdom. I'm unbookmarking him, assigning him to Cyber Hell, yuk.

Most translators just say it's to listen, and Yusuf Ali, the peep with the most translation cred, says not to say “words of ambiguous import, but words of respect; and hearken to the prophet.” Now that I can get down with. Well, I could if the prophet said shit that made sense. I like the Spanish translator:

¡No digáis: "¡Raina!", sino "¡Unzurna!" y escuchad!

= Don't say “raina”, but “uzurna”, and listen.

Which is real clear if you know that raina and unzurna both mean listen, so it's telling you to say listen, not listen, but the second listen is a more polite listen. You listening?

OK, that's what Ahmadiyyah sez, along with a lot of  how Jews suck. You gotta hand it to these guys, I mean I would never make the connection: people 1400 years ago didn't use the proper form of address, so therefore we need to wipe Israel off the map. Or something?!?  anyway we just have to listen to Mohammed, not obey him.

Good, cause that cat is getting seriously bossy, and you don't want to get on his bad side. By the middle of ch. 2 being an enemy of Mo is the same as being an enemy of god. How's that for ego?

(2:99) Whosoever is the enemy of God and His angels and apostles, and of Gabriel and Michael, then God is the enemy of such unbelievers."

See? Enemy of apostle = enemy of god. Mo's an apostle. Enemy of Mo = enemy of god. Am I too cynical?

A few lines later, he's ragging on those damn infidels again,

(115) Bla bla bla. For them is ignominy in the world and severe punishment in the life to come.

Oh ho, Grasshopper, they get punished in this world, not just the one to come. By you punished they must get, for you don't see anybody else down here do you? Like there's angels and djinns and shit running around? Never mind.

Here he's saying the meccans have no right to their own mosque, setting them up as the common enemy. Maybe this to do with his attempts at raids, kind of like the lead-up to the Iraq war---nah, there I go being cynical again. I try to keep that bottled up, really I do but sometimes it comes gushing out like Old Faithful. It did when I read that last line in ch2: if you don't do what he wants, it's war, motherfucker. And not with god either, it's war from his apostle Mo. And his Grasshoppers.

By ch 8 its no longer ambiguous   

2:1... spoils are at the disposal of Allah and the Messenger.
2:20  O ye who believe! Obey Allah and His Messenger, and turn not away from him when ye hear (him speak). 

The line between godhood and mohammedhood has shrunk down to a teeny tiny string of quarks.  In the hadith, he's not so modest. Mo = God

“the Prophet is reported to have said: “He who obeys me obeys God; he who disobeys me, disobeys God. He who obeys the ruler, obeys me; he who disobeys the ruler, disobeys me.” (Sahih Bukhari,V4,B52,N204)

Pretty soon he'll have god say it. Yep. Chapter four. God, you're up:

Voila. L'Etat C'est Mohammed.

Prophetd00ds who say that usually end up getting killed, along with all their followers. Al-Razi had it right. So how is Mo different? Follow the money, babe, follow the money.