How it all went down

Sequence-wise, there are two versions. Either;

v96-pouting in a cave; then 68-pout/parable/pout; 73-I'm moses!; 74-decides to preach...

OR, the minority opinion,

v96-pouting in a cave; 74-decides to preach; 68-pout/parable/pout; then 73-I'm moses!

This last would have him decide to go preach before he convinced himself he was Neo-Moses. My guess is it takes some time to freefall into raving lunacy convince yourself you are god's mouthpiece. So a first appearance, then six months gap to get used to the idea. A little more god-visiting, with doubts about his own sanity receding under the madness, until he finally thinks yeah, I'm fucken Moses. Look out beeyitches! Once 'god' had given him that he'd feel totally justified to go preach to others. Chapter 1 & 111 are what he preached: Mostly just believe his shtick, with side forays to turn his inductees against the local religions and sane people who tried to talk them out of joining the cult. Typical prophet shit.


We already looked at chapter 1. When it talks about being on the straight path, and

(7) Not of those who have earned Your anger, nor those who have gone astray,

it's not just a general exhortation to be good like naive old me thought before I got acquainted with Mo. Naw, it's more hate-mongering. The Jews have earned God's anger, and the Christians have gone astray. If he'd known about all the other religions waiting to be condemned outside his little corner of Arabia I bet this'd be the longest chapter in the book.

Chapter 111 is a footnote, like most of the later ones ones at the end of the book. Here's the whole thing:

111 the Noose

1. Destroyed will be the hands of Abu Lahab and he himself will perish.
2. Of no avail shall be his wealth, nor what he has acquired.
3. He will be roasted in the fire,
4. And his wife, the portress of fire wood,
5. Will have a strap of fibre rope around her neck.

Shades of the Old South, what did this this couple do? Nothing much, he was Mo's uncle, and he just didn't wanna put up with old Mo's bullshit. So what'd his wife do? Well, she was married to somebody who pissed Mo off, the fucking bitch!

Notice the Koran doesn't bother to tell you WHY these people who lived 1400 years ago need to burn in Hell, just so you know they're there. What important moral lesson does this teach?-don't name your kid Abu Lahab? Got it covered. Don't marry anyone named Abu Lahab? OK. And Pol Pot or Hitler don't even get a shoutout. Priorities, man.