9/26/08

Developing the Mission Statement


Mo's next efforts are chapters 81, 87, 92, and 89. On my graph they show as the second little bump before the chapters get really really tiny, like three or four lines. All these four run about twenty, and they have a lot of odd calling on the sun moon and stars, as in 91;

1. I call to witness the sun and his early morning splendor,
2. And the moon as she follows in his wake,

3. The day when it reveals his radiance,

4. The night when it covers him over,

5. The heavens and its architecture,

6. The earth and its spreading out,

When you remember that Mo was a moon-worshipping pagan for the first forty years of his life, it makes perfect sense he would say things like that. How much should I bet this environmentalism will dwindle away as Mo gets more powerful?

Chapter 81 begins with twelve signs to signal the coming of judgment day, but nobody has any idea what they mean. What is "the stars turn dim and scatter (2)" or "the curtain draws back from the skies (11)"? Who knows, but it sure sounds prophetty, don't it?

It spends 14 verses on judgment day and 15 on Mo saying he's not nuts and we should listen to him. He's still trying to convince people (and himself) that he's not crazy: "Your companion is not mad," he whines in 81:22, but he's getting away from that, growing more confident. Catch this in 92;

12 Surely Ours is it to show the way,
13
And surely Ours is the Hereafter and the former.

Meaning, it is my place to tell you what to do, not just in the hereafter but here on Earth too. Wow! Getting a little cocky now, aren't we? Notice how these verses make a lot more sense when you translate "ours" to mean "Me & God's" instead of doing a lot of semantic dancing around with the "majestic plural".

He's developing a strategic vision here, fleshing out the details of what exactly he'll be selling and his demographics. He's not just preaching to whoever will listen. From day one he focused on qualified prospects; those unreceptive to his message are lost causes and expendable. Cold-blooded, but a better marketing plan than that naive sap Jesus--Mo knew well how that turned out. His years of running caravans for his sugar mommy Khadijah was paying off.

Related to this, here he is worrying he'll forget the words;

87:6. We shall make you recite (the Qur'an) so that you will not forget
87:7. Unless God may please.

A successful businessman would know the importance of keeping accurate records, so why not just write down the revelations? Gosh, I can't think of a single reason.

Mo was on the horns of a dilemma. He wanted the authority of written scripture like the Jews had, but he knew people would nail him when he changed his story, misquoted himself, or reversed god's words to get some new nookie. So over these little short early chapters he's worried, but later on you don't hear that even for the Cow chapter that has 286 verses! Mo was sharp and he didn't need long to realize there is no limit to the bullshit people will swallow, and being consistent didn't matter. He could have his word be the only law, and by claiming an invisible Qur'an in the sky he could also claim to have the eternal unchanging Written Word Of God. Pretty clever branding!

He lays out his Mission Statement in chapter 92, and boy does it suck! Here's who goes to heaven

(5) ... he who gives (in charity) and fears (Allah),
(6) And (in all sincerity) accepts and follows ...

The fuck? This is a constant constant theme throughout the book. He doesn't identify his cultists as people who act morally, his priorities are: 1) give money, 2) be afraid 3) accept, aka 'submit'. Buddha had his Four Noble Truths that bring an end to suffering, Jesus had his greatest commandment, to love thy neighbor as thyself, and Mo has this.


What a sales pitch! Makes me just want to sign right the fuck up. How did he ever sell such a crappy product? Aside from being a pretty intimidating guy apparently (raving lunatics often are), Hadith say that even at this early stage it wasn't just metaphorical carrots he was offering:

  • "Muhammad claims that if you follow him in his religion, you shall be the kings of the Arabs and the non-Arabs"

  • "I summon them to utter a saying through which the Arabs will submit to them and they will rule over the non-Arabs."

  • "the Arabs will submit to them and the non-Arabs will pay the jizyah to them."

So that's the USP (unique selling proposition) that launched what came to be Islam. He stuck with this secret recipe through the years, as in this letter
"Accept my call, and you shall be unharmed. I am God's Messenger to mankind, and the word shall be carried out upon the miscreants. If, therefore, you recognize Islam, I shall bestow power upon you."

Anyhow, chapter 89 ends this section with five verses calling on the moon and 19 describing hell or people going to hell: at the finish... it looks like... it's...Hell,19-5! ... the crowd goes jihad! YAAAAYY!!

Mo has finally found his voice: It's saying "You're all going to hell!"

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