Attack of the Clot

Everyone seems to agree that Mohamed's first vision was surah 96, The Clot. It's not a 1950's horror flick, it's the koran's genesis story; God created man from a clot? Well, in Arabic it sounds better, al-alaq, a clump of blood or some such, a 'biomass' which is better'n the Bible's crummy old lump of clay. But blood from what? There were no people yet, so it couldn't have been human blood, it could only be some sort of common ancestor. Ha! Take that creationists! I bet it was monkey blood. LOL!

Doesn't much matter really, since in other places he creates man from dust (3:59), fermented clay (15:26) semen (16:4) or a soul (4:1) and in (22:5) he goes wild and covers all the bases; "We first created you from dust, then from a sperm, then from a clot of blood, then from a half-formed lump of flesh," How did that work? Create, destroy, recreate? Infallible God just couldn't get it right the first time, Hmm?

You'd expect, with a catchy title like "The Clot: it's alive!" this chapter would have more to say about clots, or clottiness, or clotting. You'd be wrong. With a lack of logic that's already routine, this one single line,

2. Created man from an embryo;

is the only mention of any clottitude, and this is typical. If a word appears once in the whole chapter, that's enough to be a name for the whole thing. Wouldn't it be helpful if all books followed god's Mad Libs method?

Fundamentals of Psychology
Chapter 1. Of
Chapter 2. Were
Chapter 3. Single
Chapter 4. Are
Chapter 5. Association
Chapter 6. The

Chapter 7--batshit, Chapter 8--crazy. This guy god has a pretty fancy resume, but if personnel sends him up, keep him away from the copy desk at all costs. Have him sweep floors or something.