Don't Ask.

Here's something really ugly. There is simply no excuse for it, none at all. Before I tell you what it is, sit down, grab something, and light up a blunt, 'cause it's really bad. And that's not me talking BTW, it's Arfan Shah, with the breaking news that GASP! some people are criticizing scholars! THE HORROR! When you suspect some beardo is shining you on, you should hold it in and not articulate it, ever. The koran has his back, too:

(5:101) O believers, do not ask about things which, if made known to you, may vex you.

Our buddy Arfan was nice enough to respond to my comment, but their website is screwed up so I could never read his answer. Damn.

All I got was frustrated, better than those two guys in Arizona, they went to a mosque and start asking questions, they got arrested. They cursed, those rascals did. Arrested for 'suspicion of disorderly conduct', something they do in Der Homeland. I miss the United States, where you had to actually commit crimes before they arrested you. I'm sure it'll all be OK once they take over and run the country according to Sharia Law, Biblical Principles, whatever.

There's a reason for the fatwa on questions. It went into the hadith instead of the quran, since Mohammed didn't say Simon Says allah sez first, but here's why:
'The worst criminal among the Muslims is the one who inquired about something which had not been made unlawful, and then it was declared so, because of his inquiry.' (Bukhari et al)
That's the worst? Worse than murder, robbery, or bareing an ankle? Let's see, their holy book tells them this, and these guys go to Ask Imam to find out how to wear their watch? Wtf? And then Imam tells them not to put cow piss on their asshole. Seriously.

Maybe that is good advice. Don't ask—fucken think!


PersonalFailure said...

O believers, do not ask about thingswhich, if made known to you, may vex you.

That does not mean don't ask about things to me. That is more a statement of "Where ignorance is bliss, tis folly to be wise", i.e., if you don't really want to know, don't ask. On the other hand, if one is fully prepared to deal with the consequences of knowing, ask away.

learning quran online said...

What is Holy Quran

The Quran is the most often-read book in the world. Revealed by God to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) in the 7th century, and revered by Muslims as being God's final Scripture and Testament, its words have been lovingly recited, memorized, and implemented by Muslims of every nationality ever since.
“It is He Who sends down manifest Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) to His slave (Muhammad) that He may bring you out from darkness into light
[Surah (Chapter of) al-Hadeed 57:9 – English interpretation of the Quranic Verse]
Learn Quran, Read tajweed Quran online, learning Quran online Koran

Allah has told us in the Quran (Quran / Koran) the stories of the earlier and later generations and the creation of the heavens and the earth. He has explained in detail what halaal is and what is haraam, the basics of good manners and morals, the rulings of worship and dealings with others, the lives of the Prophets and the righteous, and the reward and punishment of the believers and disbelievers. He has described Paradise, the abode of the believers, and He has described Hell, the abode of the disbelievers. He has made it (the Quran (Quran / Koran)) an explanation of all things:
“And We have sent down to you the Book (the Quran (Quran / Koran)) as an exposition of everything, a guidance, a mercy, and glad tidings for those who have submitted themselves (to Allah as Muslims)”
The Quran (Quran / Koran) confirms the Books which came before it, the Tawraat (Torah) and Injeel (Gospel), and it is a witness over them, as Allah says (English interpretation of the Quranic Verse):
“And We have sent down to you (O Muhammad) the Book (this Qur’aan (Quran / Koran)) in truth, confirming the Scripture that came before it and Muhaymin (trustworthy in highness and a witness) over it (old Scriptures)”[Surah (Chapter of) al-Maa'idah 5:48]
The faithful are inspired, consoled often moved to tears by its eloquence and poetic imagery, especially when recited aloud. And yet, the Qur'an is unique in being the only Scripture that is free of scientific inaccuracies, whose historical authenticity can be verified, and whose text has been so carefully preserved that just one authorized version (in Arabic) exists. Approximately the length of the New Testament, the Qur'an is also the only holy book that can be memorized in its entirety by people of all ages and intellectual abilities - including non-Arabic speakers - which Muslims consider to be one of its miracles.

Robert Madewell said...

I think I agree with the Imam. You shouldn't put cow piss on your asshole. There's just some things which make sense. Preparation H would probably be a better choice for this guys hemmorhoids.