Brother Mo's Travelin' Salvation Show (end of Surah 53), in which I say something good about the koran!

All these allusions to nature get to my soft spot. Even I have to admit that the earlier chapters can make great poetry. That's subjective, but you can Google up translations of ch100, “The Chargers”, that are really evocative and stirring. Poetry's not my thing; shit even reading poetry criticism makes me gag, so I'll condense J. Rodwell :

The contrast between the earlier and later Suras is very striking. Up to chapter 54 we can't help but notice the entire preeminence of the poetical element, a deep appreciation, as in 91, of the beauty of natural objects, brief fragmentary and impassioned utterances, expressed for the most part in lines of extreme brevity. In 53 however, Muhammed openly assumes the office of 'public warner' and it becomes more prosaic and didactic as the Missionary gradually replaces the Poet. Descriptions of natural objects give way to Jewish and Christian histories and disputes with the enemies of his faith. The admonisher and persuader of Mecca becomes at Medina the legislator and warrior, who dictates obedience, and uses other weapons than the pen. (rephrased with apologies to Rodwell)

We have every reason to believe them when they say the original Arabic is outstanding in a poetical sense, and it even sounds really good sometimes when it's sung. OMFG I've committed blasphemy! It's forbidden to sing koranic verses, according to some fuckwit. Sorry, but if certain types of modern music I won't name are 'singing', this sure n the fuck is, and it sounds kind of nice. Could use a little backup, but when you consider the lyrics, the only kind of music that's really appropriate would be Death Metal, and that's a really scary image.

Finishing off ch53, by v36 Mo's got the spirit, and Hallaujah, he preaches smitin and destroyin, and judgement day, he thumps the Good Book with the best of them;

36. Has he not heard what is contained in the Book of Moses,
37. And of Abraham who fulfilled his trust?

Whoa! The Book of Moses was written by Joseph Smith in 1830, part of founding Mormonism. This must be another Quranic prophecy fullfilled, but let's not bring it to their attention, K?

Probly Mo means the Five Books of Moses, aka the Jewish Bible, but they don't really say much about any afterlife. The Book of Daniel does say there's a book of who's naughty and nice, & a judgment, so maybe that's where it came from. By all accounts he'd been to see those Jewish and Christian preachers, and undoubtedly he picked up some Powerpoint tips from watching them. So he incorporated it into his own rant, and it seems to have worked. Already noted how he preached so good the Ethiopian peeps came home.

Muslim Mobs Burn Quran

Fate of Prophet's (pbuh) original text remains unknown

Breaking News
Posted: 653 AD
Mecca, Saudi Arabia.

Sources in Arabia report Muslim mobs have destroyed copies of the Holy Quran in book-burnings held at cities throughout Arabia and the Muslim world.
Instigated by a fatwa of the Caliph Uthman that proscribes any unauthorized copy of Islam's Holy Book following a newly completed rescension, all existing older copies of the Quran have been rounded up and consigned to the flames.

According to noted Islamic scholar Muhammad ibn Bahadur Zarkashi “Ibn Abi Dawud records Musab ibn Sad ibn Abi Waqqas to have testified:

"I saw the people assemble in large number at Uthman's burning of the proscribed copies; not a one spoke out against him." Ali commented, "If I were in command in place of Uthman, I would have done the same."

Ali was a companion of the Prophet (pbuh) himself, during his lifetime and clearly approved the actions taken by Caliph Uthman. During Uthman's rule Islam had spread to many areas where the Muslims were not Arabs and couldn't read Arabic properly, so many variant readings sprung out. To correct this Uthman appointed a committee of scribes to produce a standardized version of the Qur'an, which was sent to each city under Muslim rule. All older copies were to be collected and burned.

Even though Arabia is one of several countries where desecrating the the Quran may be punishable by death, officials have shown little interest in this case. No arrests were made, and no official investigation has been undertaken to date.

As told by Wikipedia, most schools of Islamic law dictate that a Muslim may not touch the Qur'an, which is regarded as the literal word of God, unless he or she is in a state of ritual purity (wudu). Muslims must always treat the book with reverence, and are forbidden, for instance, to pulp, recycle, or simply discard worn-out copies of the text. Intentionally insulting the Qur'an is regarded as a form of blasphemy, and has led to rioting.

As of this writing the fate of the original copy of the Holy Quran, compiled by the Messenger Himself (pbuh) remains uncertain. The hadith make it clear that the Qur'an was available in written form from the time of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), reports Sahih Al-Bukhari, our most reliable source. He tells us,

“Narrated Qatadah: I asked Anas Ibn Malik: ‘Who collected the Qur’an at the time of Prophet?’ He replied: ‘Four, all of whom were from the Ansar: Ubay Ibn Ka‘ab, Mu‘adh Ibn Jabal, Zayd Ibn Thabit and Abu Zayd.'”

This first Quran was allegedly in the possession of Hafsa bint Umar, a daughter of Umar and one of Muhammad's widows, and was thrown into the fires and burnt with the other old copies. The loss of this original manuscript, reputed to be the literal word of God, would arguably be a great loss to historians.

Skeptics, who asked to remain anonymous, dismissed Uthman's latest move as political grandstanding designed to gain support for his illegitimate Caliphate and distract attention from the War in Baluchistan.

What's this...

...book called "the Koran"?
Let's see...

Chapter 1. The Opening

(1) In the name of Allah, most benevolent, ever-merciful.
So, who is this? Traditionally supposed to be god speaking, so let's fix that:

(1) In the name of Me, most benevolent, ever-merciful.
(2) All praise be to Me, Lord of all the worlds,
(3) Most beneficent, ever-merciful,
(4) King of the Day of Judgement.
(5) Me alone I worship, and to Me alone turn for help.
(6) Guide me (O Me) to the path that is straight,
God, obviously, has issues.

(7) The path of those I have blessed, Not of those who have earned My anger, nor those who have gone astray.

Hmm; three paths. Which one am I on?

Chapter 2. The Cow

(1) ALIF LAM MIM.
WTF?? Schizophrenic babbling? God's prognosis is looking poor...
(2) This is The Book free of doubt and uncertainty,
Right after saying 'alif lam nim'? Seriously?
a guidance for those who preserve themselves from evil and follow the straight path,
Would that include me, I wonder? There's more...

(3) Who believe in the Unknown and fulfill their devotional obligations, and spend in charity of what I have given them;
(4) Who believe in what has been revealed to you and what was revealed to those before you, and are certain of the Hereafter.
Damn! It's a whole list. Let's see how I do....
(5) They have found the guidance of their Lord and will be successful.
Aww, shoot! I didn't make the grade.
(6) As for those who deny, it is all the same if you warn them or not, they will not believe.
Well, you could give us some evidence, duhh.
(7) God has sealed their hearts and ears, and veiled their eyes. God has fixed us so we can't get his message? What a prick.
For them is great deprivation.
(8) And there are some who, though they say: "We believe in God and the Last Day," (in reality) do not believe. (shorter verse 9-20, god hates them fuckers.) So...


... god divides people into (a) those whom he won't let believe him, (b) those who believe him without any evidence, and (c) those that only pretend to believe him. Only group B goes to heaven. I'm apparently in group A: doomed, and god won't unseal my heart and ears to change that. Sucks, but not much point reading the rest.