Iblis

Mo tells the story of Iblis in Chapter 38, and then repeats it in his next revelation, chapter 7. Then he tells it again in surah 2. And 15. And 17. And 18. And 20. When your book's too short, don't you usually write some new material, instead of just repeating chapters? But this is the koran so it's no use being reasonable.

I've corrected enough Freshman English papers to recognize the technique: you don't really have a clear idea of what you're trying to say so you keep repeating the same things over and over. Mo, maybe; but God isn't sure what he's trying to say? God needs Remedial Composition? Pfft.

I guess Mo just made up the Iblis story, because it's not in the Bible. The best translation is the one at Lolkoran. Of course, the real quran doesn't end with playing in the yard, it ends with burning in hell—Allah being all-merciful and shit. Here's the Cliff notes version:

(11) God tells the angels to bow down to Adam but Iblis won't do it,

(12)says he's better'n Adam cause he was made of fire, not clay like Adam.

(13-15)So God tells him to go to hell, but lets him hang around till judgment day.

(16-17)Iblis says “I'm gonna tell everybody what an asshole you've been”

(18)and God's like “Yeah? I'll send them to hell too.”

He comes right out and says this:

7:179 And indeed We have created many jinns and men for hell;

There you go; god created people just so he could torture them. All-Merciful, he is.

???

Just some questions:

If this book has a consistent message, it's to not make anything a compeer of god, by bowing down to it. So why does god tell the angels to do exactly that? Isn't Iblis obeying god's command here?

Being proud or insolent or whatever gets Iblis sent to hell, but then god is happy jolly with him causing people endless torture. Isn't god being a little bipolar? And what's the moral? Letting your kid be a serial killer is fine as long as they're not sassy? Is that where I've failed as a parent?

Who or what is Iblis? Everyone says he is Satan, but I don't see anywhere it says that. Plus, no one knows if he is an angel (7:17) or a djinn (18:50); the Koran says both. To weasel out of this we have—TA-DAH!!--the “rule in Arabic grammar called tagleeb”. At least Zakir Naik does, because every reference I find traces back to him: He's trying to claim grammatical gender determines the meaning of words. Now I don't know Arabic, but I know linguistics, and in nerd talk, he confuses generic masculine with quantifier scope. In ordinary people talk, his rule says “I am an ignorant jackass who doesn't understand grammar”: and somehow this proves that Iblis is not an angel. It's Islamic Logic!