OK, so now The Man has millions of tampons. Does anyone remember the reason they invented for stealing them from their rightful owners? It was this press release, that said some pervert suspected some jars contained shit, just like they always suspect
|Srsly: tampons and maxipads confiscated , GUNS allowed! Yeah.|
So nobody anywhere has ever seen one of these suspected jars of suspected shit let alone opened one to see what's really in it but IT'S NOT A LIE! DOZENS OF WEBSITES SAY THEY FOUND THEM! Also, atheists are POISONING THE ANGELS WITH CONTRAILS!!110!
But wait--now, the truth[sic] comes out, three weeks later, from Governor David Dewhurst (R-19th Century). He's six foot five, see, so sneaking unnoticed through the throngs of camera-wielding protestors was simple for him, and he could look over the shoulders of those State Troopers, and what did he see?
JARS! He saw JARS! He saw the jars that the Troopers who were doing the inspections couldn't see, and he saw the shit that they couldn't see and smelled the piss that they couldn't smell. What a guy! Ladies, with superpowers like that why wouldn't you want him to make all your decisions for you?
Yeah, there's definitely a sack of shit at the Texas State House.