10/12/08

Uzza, Lat and Manat

Chapter 53:19-22

Continuing chapter 53, verse 19 brings in the three moon gods of the pagans OK! We loves us some Uzza, Lat and Manat, we do. They were the three daughters of Allah, the Ka'aba's house Rock God. All the Meccan polytheist moon-worshippers were their groupies. Here's the Goddesses in v19-22.

19. Have you considered Lat and 'Uzza,
20. And Manat, the other third (of the pagan deities).
21. Are there sons for you, and daughters for Him?
22. This is certainly an unjust apportioning.
Mo, misogynistic prick that he was, is making a real argument. So scratch yer balls, pull yer sweat pants up over your beer belly, yell at the old lady to fetch another beer, and let's have a look. Women, y'unnerstand, ain't worth a shit, so Mo's just saying “How come all God gets is a bunch of crappy old daughters when you guys get to have sons? That makes you better'n God, don't it? Huh?” That's what he means by an unjust apportioning—any God worth his salt would pump super-manly splooge out of his godly nutsack and have him lots of virile, manly sons—not a flock of useless women. Their god didn't, so he's probably gay. Mo goes on some more...

23. These are only names which you and your fathers have invented. No authority was sent down by God for them.They only follow conjecture and wish-fulfilment...
24 bla
25 bla
26. Many as the angels be in heaven their intercession will not avail in the least without God's permission ...
27. Those who do not believe in the Hereafter give the angels names of females.
28. Yet they have no knowledge of this, and follow nothing but conjecture...
Short version, you guys just made up these goddesses; you think they're female angels, but females can't do anything without permission, and if you knew the truth®, like I do, you'd kick the bitches out.

It's ironic that Mo scoffs at angels interceding when all his own dealings with god went through the angel Gabriel. I guess he was one of those manly men angels, so he could do stuff. Mo also doesn't mention his own god didn't have any sons or daughters—couldn't get it up apparently—so by that logic, Mohammed's god wasn't as good as the Pagan's god, and the pagans themselves were better than any of the gods. Lemme get a big 'hell yeah' to that!

2 comments:

Baal's Bum said...

Just had a quick look around, I see we are doing similar things. Keep up the good work.

ali said...

There is no God but Allah and Allah dont have no son no daughter no wife no father no mother, he is supreme and free from all this, one and only. Now The real meaning of the Verses which surely the blind and fools will not understand plz read--
"First, the listeners have been made to understand that: "The religion that you are following is based on mere conjecture and invented ideas. You have set up a few goddesses like Lat and Manat and Uzza as your deities, whereas they have no share whatever in divinity. You regard the angels as the daughters of Allah, whereas you regard a daughter as disgraceful for your own selves. You think that these deities of fours can influence Allah in your favor, whereas the fact is that all the angels together, who are stationed closest to Allah, cannot influence Him even in their own favor. None of such beliefs that you have adopted, is based on knowledge and reason, but are wishes and desires for the sake of which you have taken some whims as realities. This is a grave error."