10/2/08

Platitudinism

Now the twelve short verses of Early Meccan period. It's not bad, mostly just a lot of platitudes. More witnessing, calling on the stars, moon and shit. I never see the point of this; if what you're saying is bullshit, it'll still be bullshit in the moonlight. Sometimes you might call someone to back up your story, but its not like the sun is gonna come down out of the sky and take the witness stand for you.

93 has that bit about finding orphans and 94 basically repeats the same things, then comes 103, which is only three lines long (!). It says; believe, do good, tell the truth, and help one another. Is this the Koran's equivalent of Jebus's greatest commandment? Some say it is, and tell a story about two guys who would never part company until they'd recited this verse. So I started reading interpretations, and Damn! that word "faith" should have tipped me off-they ruin this innocent little verse in a hurry ...
How'd he get from good deeds to Darwinism, fer Chrissakes? Who talks like that? Freudianism...What? Can't a cub scout just help an old lady cross the friggin street? Apparently he has to do it to flatter god--if he's just being nice he might as well knock over her wheelchair I guess. Fuck that, Chapter 109 is better anyway. Good verses in the Koran are pretty slim pickings, but this is my favorite so far.

1. O you unbelievers,
2. I do not worship what you worship,
3 Nor do you worship who I worship,
4. Nor will I worship what you worship,
5. Nor will you worship who I worship:
6. To you your way, to me my way

Basically it says "to each his own", right? Nothing wrong with that, depending on what you mean by worship. Next comes more platitudes; you can't take it with you, seek refuge with the Lord, god is FTW. Overall it's not a bad bunch of stuff.

I skipped over 108 even if it is only three lines, because it didn't make a damn bit of sense. It says Mo has X, and his enemies lack X, but what the hell is X? Translators say X = wealth, or followers, or money, or anything from spirituality to descendants. WTF? It took some reading, but what he's talking about is the Xian concept of 'Grace'. He probly didn't want to steal the idea from the Xians, because he was all about not having any supplementary gods like the Holy Ghost. Having Grace would have helped him, though. I've had Grace a few times, and she's hawt!

To take this stuff literally you have to be deranged. 105 is five nonsensical lines about how god saved your asses from the people of the elephant. Huh? This was big news back in the day, but either god thought it still would be in a thousand years, or he anticipated Google so his readers could look it up. It seems that the Yemenis sent an army to destroy Mecca round about 570 AD, and just outside town, either

"swarms of birds appeared carrying stones in their beaks and claws and showered these on the troops. Whoever was hit would start disintegrating,"

or, if you're one of those horrid DarwinFreudMarxists, they got wiped out by smallpox. Teach the controvery, LOL!

There's some controversy about the last two verses. Some early copies didn't have them, and "On the basis of these traditions the opponents of Islam had an opportunity to raise doubts about the Qur'an, saying that this Book, God forbid, is not free from corruption" (followed by 2000 words arguing over whether there's doubts). People killed each other over this! In the religion of peace. Over a book that is "complete, perfect and fully detailed".

1 comment:

Stupid Little Kid said...

And I thought it was impossible to top the number of plot holes in the bible and the number of calls to violence there. At least there's words in there about not killing people and turning the other cheek that hold weight with some christians. This Quran stuff is just ... bad.